red's alimuom,atbp.

another goodbye song

2011-12-26T13:11:00.000+03:00

when do we leap, when tigers roam
the cage we offer our limbs

thank you for understanding:
"this is another goodbye song."

wishlist

2011-12-18T12:56:00.000+03:00

aside from the Raymond Weil watch, here is a wishlist of the things jeje asked me about.

32" Sony Bravia LCD, June 2009. when he came back from vacation, he was complaining he doesn't have a TV. but even I was paying off some debts I incurred during my vacation so i excused myself from contributing. later, i found out he got a second-hand one from a friend which he supposedly paid off in three installments. still a few months later (see below), i began to suspect it was a very new unit, not second-hand. where and how he got it,

Home Theater, September 2009. when I visited him and I found out about the LCD, he brought me to a store selling Sony appliances and showed me their home theater. Jeje even asked the Sales Clerk if it is possible to pay the item in the local outlet in my area (I'm in another some 1000 kms away) but pick up the item there. the Sales Clerk said yes, and i agreed with him, but did not promise anything.

Cellphone (any unit), December-January 2009. come December, he started complaining about his 5800 which supposedly is not ringing (he's got another N71). i was thinking of buying him one, E71 but he suggested Blackberry Edge during (and after) his New Years Day visit by saying its prices were slashed down by almost 50% at a local bookstore.

And now, its Raymond Weil.

there's been other "favors" as well: shirts, jackets, plush toys. in November, when the weather in their area started to cool down to freezing, i sent him a sweater i bought from the nearest brand outlet i can find. these are beside the cash i would send every now and then, as financial support.

blah-blah-blah. i could go on and on.

it pains me to discuss my frustrations with jeje, jaresh... but what am i supposed to do? this latest "favor" is really, really bearing me down.

aftershock

2011-12-10T15:06:00.000+03:00

Reds Alimuom July 4 at 11:34am

sorry, i didn't mean to hurt you by telling you that.
i guess i thought i've moved on pero I never really recovered.

---------------

i was sincere when i said that. in fact, i want to befriend Sho because i want to know more about the "juicy" details of Jeje's infidelity. but before i get to read any response from Sho, i got the following message:

my initial reaction was: WTF! how dare him to say those things... but plainly I've told him:

Red's Alimuom July 4 at 12:03pm

what are you afraid of (Jeje), ghosts catching up with you?
sorry, hindi ko naman sinasadya na maungkat yung naging relasyon mo kay Sho.

sa nalaman ko, ako siguro ang MAS may karapatan na magalit. BUT its okay, Rhey... hindi na ako affected after everything that has happened to us. tanggap ko na 'yon.

---------------

Red's Jeje July 4 at 12:20pm

Am trying to be okay Drew... Ni respeto kita, ni minsan di ko binanggit sa mga ibang tao ang about sa ating dalawa kasi nirespeto kita.. Appreciate ko ang pag sabi mo kay Sho... Ni minsan di ako nag kwento to other people..

Bkt ba ayaw ninyo akong tantanan... Akala ko ba lahat ng ito ay maayos na... Ni respeto kita pero bat ganon.....

---------------

Red's Alimuom July 4 at 1:24pm
ulitin ko lang, Je: nagagalit ka sa akin kasi aksidenteng naungkat ko na pinagsabay mo pala kami?hindi ba dapat ako ang magalit?

---------------

nagdis
---------------

Red's Jeje July 4 at 1:40pm

Thanks for that... Cencya ka na sa naging reaction ko kanina.. Nabigla lng ako... Salamat ulit sa mga panahong di mo ako pina bayaan.. Utang na loob ko yun sa iyo... Wag ka mag alala,,, di ako galit sa iyo,,, kaibigan pa rin kita... Gaya ng sinabi mo, masaya din ako sa panahong nakasama at nakilala kita... Ingat ka palagi dyan..

Pag pacencyahan mo na rin ang naging ugali ko... Sorry...

Red's Alimuom July 4 at 1:55pm

kay Robert ka humingi ng sorry, Je. mukhang sya ang may malaking galit sa 'yo.

i have a suggestion Je. mag-join ka na kaya ng Singles for Christ para ma-focus mo na ang iyong sarili sa mga bagay na dapat

mong pinaghahandaan. I promise you, magkakaroon ka ng peace of mind, pag andun ka na.

ganoon na din ang ginagawa ko ngayon, Je. sa Kanya na lang ako kumukuha ng lakas with all my problems. sana ikaw din.

Cheers and God bless...

Red's Jeje July 4 at 2:40pm

Ako humingi ng sorry kay Robert... No way.... Its seems siya may problem.... Kaya wala kao dapat ihingi ng sorry sa kanya..

Tagal na akong sinuka,,, bkt gusto pa rin nya kao kainin for what reason...

Kaya no need for me to say sorry for him..... un lng..

Red's Alimuom July 4 at 3:52pm

as I've said in my shoutout, its better na lang na ikaw ang mag-forgive kesa ikaw ang bibigyan ng forgiveness... kasi pag ikaw ang bibigyan ng forgiveness, it means ikaw ang me kasalanan. its your call, and i can't force you.

cheer up!
---------------

Sho later sent me this message:

winterain

2010-12-29T22:07:00.000+03:00

Kaninang umaga, umikot-ikot sa mga utaw ang warning ng version nila ng PAG-ASA dito ng "rain at thunderstorms." In Fairview, kumulog naman kanina at dinig sya sa loob ng opisina kahit kuntodo AC.

At umulan.

At bumaha, as usual... sa kalsada na actually serves as drainage na din nila.

At malamig ang gabi... paglabas ng opis, winter rain. sa deseret.

"behind the smile, the pain lingers like winter rain"

sigaw 'yan ng FB ko. paano ba naman ang Von, nagkaroon ng girlilet na dyowa nung Pasko. hindi man lang nagpaalam.

kunsabagay, mag-ano ba kami? at 'yun, yun ang masakit. taena!

thanks!

2010-12-07T22:42:00.000+03:00

tuluyan nang nawala ang internet sa office kaya hindi ako makakapag-post. at since lipat-bahay na naman ako, wala pa ding internet connection sa bagong bahay~ na mula ngayon ay tatawagin kong "Eden: ang lungga ng mga Diwata!"

maraming salamat sa pagtityaga nyo sa aking blog. magkakaroon ng malaking pagbabago very soon. so abangan nyo na lang.

Thanks!

karen

2010-11-30T15:03:00.000+03:00

Sabi nila, life begins at 40 daw. E ano palang nangyari sa nakaraang 40 taon? Wala lang? Hahahaha! Taena!

At 40, I'm still a virgin! Yes, matimtimang birhen pa po ang lolo nyo. Sa panaginip.

Ang bakas ng kahapon

The truth is, I am really afraid that this day would come. For years, I have this creepy vision of death before the age of 40... I actually have visions of myself being gunned down on a busy street much like Caloy Rodriguez, with the one on the right scapula the most prominent among the fatal wounds. I realized I do have a big scar on my shoulder, the four-stitches remainder of a 50 mm diameter lipoma removed in 2004. So much for the gift of prophecy! But life goes on. And I am still here: fighting, struggling like everyone else - for a piece of heaven.

in any ways, yes, KAREN na po ang lolo nyo today. me dinner-date kami ni Von mamaya then I'll be arranging the transfer to a new flat. i sure wish this year is not the same as the previous one: madrama, madaming masakit na pangyayari, madaming sama ng loob, in short~ intense!

Cheers!

nuknukan

2010-11-25T16:39:00.004+03:00

Sa kung paanong paraan, nalaman ng asawa ni Deo ang pakikipag-relasyon nya kay Noel, ang lalaking ipinakilala nya bilang gym-mate at malayong pinsan. Nabasa ng bilat ang mga ka-ewanang text sa phone, napagdugtong ang magkaparehong singsing sa ikatlong daliri, at pinakamasakit, natunton ang pinagtataguang lungga ng kaligayahan - sa gitna ng CEMBO.

Nagwala ang bilat, nagsimulang magbasag ng plato at baso, nagsisigaw hanggang mapaos, nagbanta na uuwi sa magulang...

Pero nagmatigas si Deo. "Mabuti pa nga umuwi ka na lang sa magulang mo. Umuwi ka na sa bahay natin at mag-empake ka na, para hindi naman kahiya-hiya sa iyo. Tutal, iiwanan din naman kita e."

Tigagal ang bilat, pero nagbanta ulit... magpapakamatay naman daw.

"E 'di gawin mo, gaga," bulyaw ni Deo. "Para magkasolo na kami ni Noel."

Natauhan yata ang bilat. Napasandal sa dinding ng apartment, napahagulgol, habang unti-unting pasalampak na bumababa sa sahig.

(Hindi, dagdag ko na lang yun, para cinematic ang effect. Napahagulgol lang siguro sya.)

Inalu-alo sya ni Deo, hindi dahil naaawa sya o na-realize nya ang katangahan nya pero ang totoong dahilan, nahihiya na sya sa mga kapitbahay.

"Hindi ka bakla, e," hikbi ng bilat sa balikat ng asawa. "Bakit ka tinitigasan kapag hawak ko titi mo?"

"Siempre, malibog ako e," sagot ni Deo.

"Bakit ka nalilibugan kapag nakikita mo akong bagong-ligo at nakatapis lang ng twalya?"

"Nuknukan nga ng kalibugan e."

"Paano tayo nakabuo ng junior mo kung bakla ka?"

"Kung papipiliin mo ako ngayon, lalaki ang gugustuhin kong makasama habambuhay."

"Hindi!" sigaw ng bilat. "Hindi ka bakla! Patutunayan ko 'yan sa 'yo."

Siniil nya ng halik si Deo. Nagpaubaya naman ang lalaki. Ang mga sumbatan at sigawan ilang minuto lang ang nakaraan ay napalitan ng mga ungol ng kaligayahan. Tantya ni Deo, iyon na ang pinakamasarap na engkwentro nilang mag-asawa matapos ang ilang taon.

"Kita mo na," bulong ng bilat habang nasa afterglow. "Lalaki ka pa rin."

"Oo na," sagot ni Deo para lang matigil na ang usapan pero ang sigaw sa isip nya: "Lalaking naghahanap pa rin lalaki kahit nakakapagpaligaya ng babae."

"So anong plano mo pag-uwi mo," tanong ko kay Deo habang kami naman ang nasa afterglow.

"Bubuo kami ng babae," ang sagot.

Napa-iling ako.

"Kasi me anak na akong lalaki. Maganda, magkaroon naman ng anak na babae para kumpleto," patuloy nya.

"Taz babalik ka pa ba dito?" tanong ko.

"Hindi na," sagot nya, mariin. Siempre, sira na ang ilusyon ko dahil umaasa ako na babalikan nya ako. "Magne-negosyo na lang ako."

"Anong negosyo?"

"Magtatayo ako ng massage parlor."

Napataas ang kilay ko.

"O kaya gaybar," dagdag pa.

"'Tas bawat mag-a-apply na masahista o macho dancer, kailangan matikman ko muna," bulalas nya sabay halakhak.

"Sira-ulo!" sigaw ko, sabay hampas ng unan sa kanyang ulo na nasa ibaba.

* * *
HaPpY ThIrd YeaR!

Notes ni Red: Ikatlong taon na pala ng blog na ito kahapon, 24 November. come to think of it, after three loong years, saka lang lumabas ang original banner na pinaghirapan ko pang gawin. O sya, enjoy na lang kayo sa mga 'wento kong walang 'wenta...

echoserang frog

2010-11-23T18:16:00.002+03:00

otherwise known as "the prince and the froglet"

naging ugali ko na yatang tawagan sya araw-araw, for the 50th day or so today.

ako: me problema ako.

sya: ano...

ako: namimilipit ang tyan ko sa sakit.

sya: na naman?

ako: sobra yata sa kape.

sya: baka buntis ka.

(na-shock ako, then pregnant pause)

ako: oo nga, ano? teka, me isang buwan na ba?

(pregnant silence naman from his side habang iniisa-isa ko ang kalendaryo).

ako: meron na pala. so hindi na impossible...

sya: hmmm, nagre-request pala sila ng forklift, hindi pwede dahil hindi ko na scope ito..

ibahin ba ang topic? natawa na lang ako.

* * *

matangkad si Von, moreno, may pagka-chinito ang smiling-face, malakas ang dating at previous contestant sa isang local Ginoo-search.

running joke naming dalawa na mukha syang secretary instead of an engineer which is his actual profession. for whatever reason, tinatanong sya lagi kung secretary ba ang trabaho nya dito.

matapos ang unang pagkikita, naging palagay ang loob namin sa isa't-isa palibhasa'y member ng aking religious community ang mga magulang nya.

one time, natulog sya sa bahay dahil gusto nya'ng tumakas sa mga ka-opisina na laging nag-iinuman. nakahiga sya sa sofa habang nanonood ng The Princess and the Frog nang tumabi ako.

nang aktong hahalikan na ni Naveen si Tiana upang bumalik na ito sa pagiging prinsipe, bigla syang bumangon at hinalikan ako sa labi.

ang una kong naisip: ang sarap ng labi nya. ibinalik ko ang halik.

* * *

hinalikan ko sya sa labi. nagpalitan kami ng laway. kapwa na kami hubad sa ibabaw ng kama.

bigla syang umikot, ako naman ang napailalim.

bumaba ang kanyang mga halik, sa leeg, sa utong, sa pusod... at bigla nya akong...

isinubo.

"teka?" sigaw ng isip ko pero napaungol na lang ako.

* * *

so mag-isip kayo ngayon kung paano magbubuntis ang isang echoserang froglet na tulad ko.

Credits: The Princess and the Frog Photo from The Black Box Office here.

howfpull

2010-10-23T17:13:00.000+03:00

"Change" ~ they say, is the only thing constant in this world. At kasabay nang maraming pagbabago na naganap sa personal kong buhay, nakakapanibago na andami na palang nawawala sa blogworld. Nakaka-miss tuloy ang mag-blog hop tulad ng dati. At pati ang Blogger dashboard, huh! nakakapanibago na din...

While on hiatus, somebody told me that people I consider friends were not reading the blog because I'm a whiner. Plain whiner! Well, OK... fine. whateva! I do accept that. So much for people I consider "friends."

That somebody even told me to start writing again, at the same time admonishing me that I do write well when I am not in love!

WTF! Oh, well... Am I actually a writer? I ask myself. Maybe not. Maybe I'm just a darn, damned-to-hell whiner who writes about the shit that makes me whine.

But then again, "change" ~ they say, is the only thing constant in this world.

shellshocked

2010-07-05T09:41:00.001+03:00

it started with an innocent "hi" and "hello" stuff. i have no intention (romantic, cruel, or otherwise) whatsoever with this guy i'd like to call Sho who i found on where else, Facebook.

but yesterday was a shellshock, I'm still battle scarred.

---------------

Reds Alimuom July 3 at 2:06pm

hey, I just accepted your add request and I realized something. its either:
1. you have two accounts.
2. you deleted me from your Friends List then realized it was wrong so you added me up again.
I realized too that we were already friends before (through Jeje) so this should be the third time we added each other up. either way I'm confused.

ano ba talaga Kuya?

---------------

Sho July 3 at 2:12pm

hahhahah
here's what really happened, Reds...
we were friends before under this account...
i deactivated this account and created a new one...
then i realized that i cant just leave my friends behind so I deactivated the new one i created and went back to this original account....

hehheheheh
sorry naman po " )

---------------

Reds Alimuom July 3 at 2:21pm

i've read that too when I scrolled down your past posts. in any ways... one stupid question: do you personally know Jeje? kasi it seemed to me that before, you were quite close...

---------------

Sho July 3 at 2:35pm

yeah.... i do know him... y?

---------------

Flashback to September or October last year:
Jeje was exchanging regular (almost daily) FB Wall Comments with this one particular guy which I feel is very flirtatious. Needless to say, I got jealous and I confronted Jeje about him, and was told they were just close friends.

I realized Sho was that same guy.

---------------

Reds Alimuom July 3 at 4:42pm

pwede ba malaman how you knew him? sorry, if maurirat ako... i remember he was our common friend previously but that is no longer the case now. thanks...

---------------

Sho July 3 at 11:52pm

im sorry Reds.... im in no position to say it... sa amin na lang yun... i know u already have an idea but better ask him na lang.. " )

---------------

by this time, I already knew that they were not simply close friends. kinakabahan na ako, but I kept on...

---------------

Reds Alimuom July 4 at 10:17am

thanks a lot for trusting me, i think that's enough confirmation.
the only remaining question is, "when kayo naging close?"
is that a safe question to answer?
sorry, if I am offending you.
...

---------------

Sho July 4 at 10:19am

hahahha.... give me 3 good reason why i should answer your questions... you’ll get them if you can convince me.. hahhahah

its alright reds....

---------------

i'm feeling Sho is utterly clueless and this is going to be really bad (cruel, to say the least, and you people should not be following my example), but I really wanted to confirm something, so I kept on...

---------------

Reds Alimuom July 4 at 10:45am

let me see... i'll be very straightforward in giving you three reasons, pero can you assure me na hindi ito aabot sa kanya?

---------------

Sho July 4 at 10:45am

hindi ko na nga sya frend eh.... hehhehhe baka ikaw magsumbong... hehhehheh

---------------

Reds Alimuom July 4 at 10:59am

nyeh... friends naman kami pero cold na sya ngayon.
...

okay, so here goes:

1. duda ko na mayroon kayong nakaraan, romantically.
2. tinanong ko sya last year, nung active sya sa pakikipagpalitan ng comment sa 'yo sa FB Wall pero friends lang daw kayo.
3. i want to get to know you better.

are those enough reasons?

---------------

Sho July 4 at 11:01am

ok.. fair enough...

1. true.. meron...
2. the hell.... so nag deny pala sya....
3. thank you....

questions answered....

---------------

Reds Alimuom July 4 at 11:09am

so balik tayo sa naunang question ko: kailan 'yun?

---------------

Sho July 4 at 11:10am

that was last year... natapos kami this march

---------------

Reds Alimuom July 4 at 11:28am

thanks a lot, Sho. That was really good to know. Now I know, that he doesn't deserve any respect.
I hope my telling you this would not rattle you or affect you in any way.

XXX

alam mo bang naging kami from Sep 2007 to May 2010.

---------------

Sho July 4 at 11:29am

oh my god....

---------------

Photo credits:
Sunflower Photo from Free Foto here.
Exploding nuclear bomb pic from here

ending

2010-06-08T01:55:00.000+03:00

for the nth time, i stopped posting sometime ago. my sincerest apologies. guess I got so busy in the office, preparing for my vacation, the gym, etc... was thinking that i could do it during my vacation, but i am still on vacation now, and still no posts because the internet connection here my far-flung hometown was very, very intermittent.

the uncertainty about Jeje has finally came to a fruition: its confirmed, wala na kami ni Jeje. i wish i could make a celebratory tone out of it, but i am not.

nasasaktan pa rin ako. nasaktan ko rin sya. pero in the end, we just couldn't agree to come together.

i wish i could post it all here. i wish i could simply write off the pain by writing about it.

my other fervent wish right now is that we may be good friends, at least.

uncertainty

2010-03-23T17:56:00.000+03:00

(this is part of the year-end drama, and should have been posted before the blogpost entitled "happy")

* * *

may dugong-bikolano ako kaya aminadong mainit. inaamin ko naman na mahilig akong magtikol. that's a fact.

kasalanan ko ba kung tuwing magsusuot ako ng brief ay nasasagi ko si junior at kaagad naman syang sasaludo? at kapag sumaludo naman ay kailangang himasin hanggang mahilo at magsuka para tumigil sa panggigigil?

o kaya pag iihi... pag malamig ang aircon... pag nagbabasa ng kwentutan sa Yahoogroups... maraming pagkakataon para manindigan si junior, dugong aktibista din kasi!

huwag mong hahanapin ang guhit sa aming mga palad,
lumipat na itong kay junior
sa gabi-gabing pagpaparaos!

* * *

iba talaga ang bonding moments namin ni junior, kahit na nung nagkaroon na ako ng regular na sinusuplayan ng domats.

pero siempre kapag may karelasyon ka, obligasyon na sigurong matatawag na tipunin ang katas. yung tipong ire-reserve mo ang iyong katas at magpapalabas ka lang kapag kasama mo na sya. i guess, its one indicator na mahal mo talaga ang karelasyon mo kasi ang pagpapalabas ang rurok ng sensasyon, ng emosyon na ka-partner mo na lang ang may karapatan (kaya kuwidaw sa mga suma-sideline).

* * *

si Kiri~ as in, kirat, palibhasa maliit ang isang mata; ang pinakaunang nagpasasa sa aking sariwa at kulang sa karanasang junior dito sa Kahariang Disyerto. hehehehe.

tanda ko, minsan na pagkatapos ang isang maluwalhating trumpet (blow) session namin ni Kiri, litanyahan ba naman nya ako ng:

"bakit kokonti lang ang inilabas mo? kanino mo dinala ang katas mo?"

iniluwa nya ang katas ko sa kanyang palad para ipakita ang punto. konting-konti nga. shock ako nun at hindi ako nakasagot agad, pero hindi ko maamin na nagtikol na ako ng dalawang beses bago ako nagpunta sa hideout namin.

at siempre pa, bakit naman ako aamin? at ano ang aaminin ko sa kanya? na mas nag-e-enjoy ako sa pagtitikol kaysa sumiping sa kanya?

nung una, happy na talaga ako sa regular nyang paglilinis sa tubo ni junior. pero, sa totoo lang, nakakasawa din pala ang ganung routine: kissing-kissing, hihiga, huhubaran ka, blow, buga.

siguro nga, indicator yung dami ng domats sa interes na ipagpatuloy ang relasyon kaya ganun na lang ang reaksyon ni Kiri. pagkatapos nung kadramahan nya na yun, naghiwalay kami ni Kiri.

dahil totoo, hindi na ako masaya sa kanya. mas masarap pang magtikol na mag-isa.

* * *

bakit ko ba sinasabi sa iyo ito, jaresh?

dahil iyon ang naramdaman ko nung unang gabi na magkasama kami ulit ni jeje.

kung pwede lang sukatin, i'm sure kasya lang sa plastic na kutsarita ang inilabas nya.

pero dahil mahal ko sya (at hindi naman ako parlorista't palengkerang katulad ni Kiri), hindi ko sya sinumbatan.

nagkasya na lang ako sa pag-agree sa sinabi nyang, "yes, ang mahalaga ay magkatabi kami sa pagtulog."

* * *

truly, happiness are certain peaks in between certain lows.

uncertain,
red

* * *

this was originally posted with the title "sinukat." but i removed it since i made a promise not to discuss my misgivings with jeje. i also have to repost "raymond" after this.

kaboba

2010-03-21T18:11:00.021+03:00

kanina, kinulit na naman ako ng paborito kong officemate.

Co-employee 1: Hey, Mister Red, do you get the fax yesterday?

Red (in generic poker face): what fax?

Co-employee 1: One company he sent me a 'kwikachun'?

Red (now in a bewildered look): a what?

Co-employee 1: "kwikachun?"

in kunot-noo mode, i started the preview of the incoming faxes available in my computer and showed it to him one-by-one.

Red: is this the one? this one... or this...

Co-employee 1: wait... that one! that "kwikachun" is for me.

heto ang taenang "kwikachun":

* * *

pagkatapos, nagreklamo ako sa mga flatmate via email. kanina kasing pag-uwi for lunch, inabutan kong bukas ang bahay. as in naka-45 degrees ang main door ng aming flat. deadma lang ang ibang flatmate dahil alam kong guilty sila pero sumagot ang pinakamatanda sa amin. sabi nya:

"Please let us make it sure na naka lock po ang main door. Good riddance!"

good riddance saan?!? sa bad vibes ko? napailing na lang ako.

* * *

sabi nila, nakakabobo daw ang magtrabaho dito sa Saudi kasi lahat ng Ingles na pinag-tyagaan mong matutunan ng kung ilang taon mula elementary hanggang college, matatapon lang dito.

naalala ko tuloy ang Administrative Supervisor namin dun sa dati kong employer, minsang nangungulit ako tungkol sa isang document. sa pagkainis yata dahil ayaw kong umalis sa harap nya, nag-dialogue ang Bisor: "okay, okay! Remember me tomorrow."

napatanga ako sa kanya nang isang saglit lang, sabay sabing: "okay, tomorrow, i will come back and remind you..."

cheers!
Red

in denial

2010-03-17T15:43:00.000+03:00

walang post! walanghya! walangdyu! wala lang! parang echos' lang ang post na ito.

madami namang nangyari sa buhay ko nitong mga nakaraang araw, pero wala akong drive na magsulat. looking back, i haven't been able to create any fresh post for the last month or so. if you haven't noticed, all the posts (including the Andy Whitfield "libogeric" praise-release, and the Crixus-photo-gallery which i pulled out) were actually "post-dated", parang cheke: buti na nga lang hindi nag-bounce kasi me pondo...

as mentioned, a lot of things have happened especially on my see-saw relationship with Jeje. these days however, i am becoming more and more convinced that eventhough i love him that much, a one-sided love affair has to go.

SFX: Jonalyn Viray's Kung Hindi Mo na Mahal...
(which reminds me, i've been searching for a Youtube vid of the song above, can somebody help?)

it still hurts a lot to write about the things i'm going through. in fact, thinking about letting him go stresses me witless by the minute. unfortunately, i promised not to blog whatever i have with Jeje here on this blog, but i do hope i'd find the courage to write about it.

and i do wish to move on.

fuck! move on... i should. and i would!

sya na kaya ang pamalit?

or should i say, kailangan ba talaga merong pumalit?

lason

2010-03-07T12:50:00.001+03:00

mga walang 'wentang 'wentong cine
chapter 1

nagkukwentuhan na kami ni jason sa loob ng sinehan sa isang mall sa Cubao (na ngayon ay isa nang medium-sized thrift-gift shop). tapos na nya akong i-bj na aminadong na-enjoy ko nang husto.

lumiwanag ang loob ng sinehan nang matapos ang palabas pero hindi pa kami umuwi. balak kasi naming ulitin ang pelikula na hindi namin naintindihan dahil naging abala kami sa paghahabol sa isa't-isa.

maya-maya ay may nakiraan sa amin~ matangkad, nakatshirt ng puti, may dalang backpack. umupo ito sa tabi ni jason. may hitsura naman ang lalaki, makinis ang mukha, may biloy sa pisngi, pero kapansin-pansin ang ahit na kilay.

nagkatinginan lang kami ni jason: napangiti sya, napatango ako. alam ko na ang mangyayari.

nakipagkilala ang katabi ni jason. sya daw si mel.

nang magsimula na ang mga trailer, tumayo ako para dyuminggel sa CR pero umupo ako sa bandang likod lang ng dalawa. gusto ko kasing makapanood ng extra show. hehehe.

nagsimula na ang seremonyas: walang kibuan pero magkadikit na ang dalawang hita. lumapat ang kamay ni mel sa tuhod ni jason, humihimas. maya-maya ay nasa na ito hita, pataas. lumalalim na ang paghinga ni jason, hanggang sapuhin na nito ang kanyang harapan.

hindi na nakatiis si Jason, sya na mismo ang nagbukas ng kanyang pantalon. lumantad ang namumukol na harap nito sa loob ng puting brief.

napa-"wow" si mel.

"ilabas mo na," sabi ni jason.

"me nanonood," sagot ni mel, sabay nguso sa akin.

"hindi okay lang 'yan..."

inilabas ni mel ang matigas nang paninindigan ni jason, at dagling nagtaas-baba ang palad doon. ako naman ang napa-wow.

hinila ni mel ang ulo ni jason. naghalikan sila ng ilang segundo nang biglang sumigaw ang bakla, sabay tayo: "putang-ina, lason! lason!"

nagtawanan ang mga tao sa loob ng sinehan habang yukong-yuko si jason sa pagkapahiya.

* * *

lason: kapag ang naka-sex ng bakla ay "berde" din pala ang dugo. mas makamandag kung kakatapos lang humada ni kuya nang halikan sya ni ate.

Photo Credits:
Poisonous Cherry from visualizeus.

picks

2010-03-05T18:24:00.000+03:00

i've been browsing the Bench summer series for quite some time (the men are such an eye candy). but these two "gerlash" who are pitted against each other by the opposing networks they work for caught my fancy. well, i love the men they are associated with (Gerald Anderson and Aljur Abrenica, respectively) hehehe. but wait, take a closer look:

are they long lost sisters or what? i guess this only goes to show how the networks favor a certain look at any given time. or worse, how they copy each other.

but then, if you are wondering how these 'payatollah beauties' hooked their respective love-teams (if we follow regular tabloid-fare praise releases, that is), maybe you'll get the idea here:

cheers!

of maderes and friendster

2010-03-03T07:40:00.000+03:00

a few months ago, i posted my "reservations" about declaring my Relationship Status in web profiles as an obligation to the partner (in this case, my now ex-GF). who would have thought there's another off-shoot to that story.

you see lately, hindi na naman ako nakakatulog nang matino and i always felt so drained to go to the gym. this has been going on for seven days. something is telling me that my mom is having the same problem but i tend to deny it. i mean who would consider it as a medical or psychological phenomenon other than plain coincidence?

anyway, i finally called my sister today only to check if my mom received the monthly stipend i am sending her. and yes, maderes has not been sleeping well again.

"e kasi wala na naman pera 'yun," i told my sis. my mom is a worrywart, so as a breadwinner, i always make sure that her account has some money otherwise, she won't be sleeping well.

"hindi naman siguro, kasi..." my sis retorted, rather unsurely. methinks she knows something she does not want to discuss so i egged her on.

apparently, a cousin who is working in Japan went home last month and made this ridiculous claim that I got married already! another cousin whose sister was working this time in Malaysia supported that story and even claimed that the GF i broke up with has been exchanging messages with her.

but all that information came from... yes, Friendster!

as I posted a few months ago, my ex-GF obliged me to remove my relationship status in Friendster as "Single." Partly in protest and partly to avoid further discussion, I set it to "Married" which obviously set-off the "rumors", however belatedly.

i have since broken up with the jologs GF and have returned the relationship status to "Single" again (in both FB and FS), but it never occured to me that it would affect my mom that much.

haizz...ang mga nanay talaga!

i know she has an idea on my sexuality (eventhough i brought a guy home, one or twice) but i think she is more worried about herself should ever i get married.

randydandyAndy

2010-03-02T00:01:00.000+03:00

Red's Hunk Alert:
Andy Whitfield

Tingnan mo naman: hita pa lang 'yan, huh? His name is Andy Whitfield. Just ignore na lang his name na parang Andres Bukid (Andrew Fields) lang. 'Chos!

You probably first noticed him in "Gabriel", the dark, apocalyptic 2007 movie about Archangels as the world's last hope for redemption (a premise literally mined-to-death by "Legion").

Andy Whitfield as the Archangel Gabriel

who refused to lose hope and join the 'dark forces' in "Gabriel"

Well, this time Andy got me hooked via "Spartacus: Blood and Sand" (more on that on next post).

A forwarded email alerted me to this TV show, which started airing in January in the US via the Starz channel. The friend of a friend said:

"This show has more frontal male nudities than ROME and more violence, blood and gore than 300 (those spartans movie ba). anyway, the lead role is a British guy and he almost looks like that Aussie sa AVATAR (Sam Worthington). So sex is rampant din and it does show the sexual depravity sa ancient Rome or Italy (this happens in a town called CAPADUA am sure fictional town ito) and it is about GLADIATORS!!!!!! i dont know how u will hav access but i definitely will buy a DVD when the first season is out!!!!!!! nakakaloka, although puro MUSCLED/BEEF CAKE ANG MGA ACTORS DITO also may gay sex din!!!!! grabe!!!!!"

Well, just ignore the grammar and some of the details (Andy is UK-born and bred, but moved to Australia 10 years ago, if my memoray serves me right, so that makes him an Ozzie, like Sam Worthington and the original Gladiator, Russel Crowe) but beefcake, sex and gore on mainstream boobtube? I can understand it if its the movies (being an avid fan of Gerald Butler and "300") but on TV?

Guess, I didnt believe the friend-of-a-friend because I assume he's gay, and might have a tendency to exaggerate; so I downloaded the first five episodes (Episode 6 is already on my torrent downloader now).

Who would've thought Gladiators were that sexy! As discussed, it probably more nude men per square inch than say, all Pinoy Macho Dancer movies combined; sex scenes to rival Jose Javier Reyes' "Live Show" to boot; and, more importantly, full frontal of at least one hunk (not Andy though). How I wish I can post the video captures here (but you can send me your email, and I will forward them to you)...

Now guess what? May nag-text:

"Red, my dear,

Tingin ko kailangan ko nang magpa-check up. Nanginginig talaga ako lagi sa galit, with matching tulo ng laway sa tuwing napapanood ang 'Spartacus'.

Nagmamahal,
Ang iyong Junior!"

Photo Credits:
Andy Whitfield as Gabriel
Spartacus Poster from Sci-fi Scoop.
Andy Whitfield as Spartacus from Film Review Online
For more details, please check-out their website HERE.

luncheaven

2010-02-25T17:59:00.000+03:00

its funny how we do not appreciate small things, like this simple meal. know what it is?

pork! here, in a place where it is banned (aside from things like liqour, pornography, homosexuality, necklaces on men, even the color red on Valentine's Day), imagine how these few small slices of pork coupled with Mom's favorite paksiw na hasa-hasa brought me back home. definite heaven!

its obvious that i've been increasingly "homesick".

profiled

2010-02-23T09:59:00.000+03:00

social networking sites have produced some of the best profile pics you can imagine. here are two of my recent favorites:

o wagi ang plantsa, di ba?

pero mas wagi si Ate!

cheers!

changes

2010-02-21T16:41:00.000+03:00

i got myself a photo on my second month at the gym. i must admit i still got a long way to be comparable to Dats or Jeje's bod, but this is definitely a lot better. my confidence level is now way up!

i still need to control my carb at night and focus on more balanced food (as opposed to impulsive eating habits), though.

pasensya na, wala pa ako iba mai-post!

redpula

2010-02-13T12:35:00.010+03:00

whats with the name "Red" ba?

lately, i've been seeing a lot of Red on Facebook and Friendster. I for one, already have three "Red" FB friends. feeling ko tuloy nakiki-apelyido sila sa akin. 'chos!

searching further, i found out that there are 152,591 items for Red on Friendster including Red Dragon, a band in Davao City and some 653,997 items in Spock, including wrestler "Amazing Red". in FB, there are 22,000 Red pages and 260,000 groups, of which 262 featured the single name Red in all its variations of punctuation and letter size.

so what's with "Red" nga? and what's with Valentines Day?!? and why should i be concerned that I don't have a date tomorrow?

so before i see red, just a reminder: bawal ang Pula sa kahariang disyerto bukas! e kasi nga, bawal ang Valentines!

Bougainvillea Photo by Sayote Bahaghari from here

kalabaw

2010-02-10T01:31:00.017+03:00

mga 'walang 'wentang wento ni red

Note: One good thing about really taking the weekend off (meaning no meetings to attend, no need to report for work and check the company emails, no friends to comfort and make bwisit your day) aside from being able to clean my mess of a room, air the rugs and sheets, cleaning the closet and the CR, among other trivial issues, was finding the drafts of my old kwentos, circa 1990s. here's a truly memorable one, in a tone and content most unusual for me during those days...

Tulad ng nakagawian, maagang gumising si Toto at kaagad na nagpainit na ng kape. Bumangon na rin si Red upang gawin ang mga karaniwang seremonyas paggising.

Sa kauna-unahang pagkakataon sa halos isang taon nilang paglakad-lakad na magkasama ay nagkatabi sila sa pagtulog. May patakaran kasi na hindi sya pwedeng makitabi sa pagtulog sa kaninoman, laluna na kung lalaki. Pero dahil maliit lang ang bahay na tinuluyan nila at wala nang pwedeng tulugan, naglatag na lang silang dalawa ng banig sa pagitan ng salansan ng saku-sakong palay.

Malaking bulas si Toto, ang bansag nga sa kanya sa baryo ay nuang (o kalabaw), dahil totoong napakalaki nyang tao. Sa taas na 5'9” at timbang na halos 100 kilo, mapagkakamalan syang mama gayong ang aktwal nyang edad ay disiotso pa lang. Kahit nakaka-intimidate ang kanyang bulas, hindi naman sya 'yun tipong astang siga. Masayahin, palabiro, mapagmahal sa pamilya, mababaw ang luha, at higit sa lahat, masigasig na matuto ~ iyon ang mga katangiang nagpalapit sa kanilang dalawa. Para kay Toto, nakakita sya ng isang mapag-asikasong guro kay Red. Si Red naman, isang malambing na kapatid ang nakita kay Toto.

Nakatuntong naman ng unang taon sa hayskul si Toto, pero dahil 16 anyos na sya nang magsimula ay naging tampulan sya ng tukso ng mga kaeskwela kaya't nawalan na sya ng interes. Dahil dito, mas ginusto ni Toto ang magtrabaho na lang para matustusan ang pangangailangan ng pamilya.

Kahapon ay lumusong sila sa tabon (isang sapa na tinabunan ng lupa ang isang bahagi at ginagawang palaisdaan) para manghuli ng isda). Naiwan sa pampang si Red dahil hindi ito marunong lumangoy kaya't nagkasya na lang ito sa pagtipon ng anumang nahuhuli ng grupo.

“Ayan na ang kalabaw...” pambubuska ng mga kasamahan nila nang magsimulang maghubad ng damit si Toto sa harap ni Red. Hinubad nito ang lahat ng suot, pati brief dahil marurumihan daw ang kanyang puting brief na bagong bili.

Napatingin lang si Red habang iniaabot nito ang lahat ng damit. Noon lang nya napagmasdan ang kabuuan ni Toto.

“May maipagmamalaki nga ang loko,” usal ni Red sa sarili.

Tumatak sa isip nya ang matikas na paninindigan ni Toto na buong yabang na bumuyangyang sa kanyang harapan, at naging balisa si Red buong maghapon.

At nang magtabi sila sa pagtulog kinagabihan, hindi sinasadyang nadama nya ang paninindigang ipinagmamalaki ng kanyang kasama. Nag-init si Red, nadarang, laluna na ng buong layang isiniksik ni Toto ang magiting nitong harapan sa kanyang likuran.

Dinama, tinikman... binigyang pugay ni Red ang paninindigan ni Toto. At ngayong umaga, habang nagliligpit ng mga gamit sa pagtulog, pinakiramdaman nya ang bahid ng pagsisisi.

Naabutan ni Red na tahimik na sumisiim ng kape si Toto, habang nakaupo sa bangko, nakatanaw sa labas ng kusina, sa malawak na bukid sa kanilang harapan.

“Seryoso tayo a,” bati ni Red, habang nagsasalin ng kape sa sartin. Isa sa nakagawian nang tungkulin ni Toto ang pagluluto nya ng purong kapeng barako tuwing umaga at kung maisipan ng mga kasamahan. Tahimik syang tumabi kay Toto sa mahabang bangko, pinagmasdan ang kabukiran habang kumakalat na liwanag. Napansin niyang namumuo ang luha sa mga mata ni Toto.

“Bakit ganon?” bungad ni Toto. “Pakiramdam ko, ipinanganak ako para gamitin.”

Tinapik ni Red ang kaniyang balikat. Ramdam nya ang guilt dahil sa ginawa nya kagabi.

“Yung titser ko nung hayskul, si Mallari, tinulungan nya akong makapag-aral,” putul-putol nyang kuwento habang humihigop ng kape. “Sinagot nya pang-enrol ko, binilhan nya ako ng mga gamit, pero ginamit niya ako. Ginamit niya ako nang ginamit.”

Nagsimulang humikbi si Toto. Inakbayan sya ni Red, hinimas-himas ang balikat, pinapatahan.

“Baboy siya… Binaboy nya ako...”

Napahagulgol na si Toto, tumungo, sapo ang noo ng isang kamay. Hinayaan lang sya ni Red. Gusto sana nyang sabihin na hindi naman lahat ay katawan lang nya ang habol; na nagsisisi sya sa nangyari at ayaw na nyang maulit iyong muli pero para syang naumid. Dahil oo, totoo, mahirap kalimutan ang isang magandang pangyayari.

Nang mahimasmasan, pinunasan ni Toto ang mukha gamit ang laylayan ng suot na texcock…

“'To, ito ang tatandaan mo,” alo na lang ni Red. “Ano man ang nangyari sa 'yo, hindi ka nila pwedeng babuyin kasi hindi ka naman baboy, e.”

Nagulat din si Red sa mga sinasabi nya.

“Tandaan mo 'yan!” pagdidiin pa ni Red habang inaabot ang harapan ni Toto na dagling nanindigan sa konting himas ng palad. “Kasi kalabaw ka! Kalabaw na ang sungay ay iisa, nasa ibaba pa!”

Napahalakhak si Toto sabay hawi sa kamay ni Red.

“Naman e...” bawi ni Toto, parang batang naglalambing. Umakbay pa si Toto, isinuksok ang ulo sa balikat, sabay punas ng mukha sa damit ni Red.

“Salamat kagabi, ha?” bulong pa ni Toto.

Napangiti si Red habang tinutungga ang natitirang kape sa sartin.

Photo of one-horned carabao taken here.

plastic

2010-02-07T04:02:00.000+03:00

i'm not a ~~psyshotic~~ ~~psychophatic~~ ~~psychiatrist~~ psychologist, but i know i have a really weird habit. ang tawag nga ni Ex- dun, "ka-eng-engan" ko~ i totally love removing plastic labels and packaging on just about anything i fancy, like softdrinks, mineral water bottles...

shampoo...

gifts. on anything i own, of course. i can't explain it. basta, nag-e-enjoy lang ako na gawin 'yun. para kasing... wala lang! e gusto ko e. bakit ba? walang basagan ng trip! hehehe. joke!

iyon nga isa sa pinag-aawayan namin ni Ex- (well, dati 'yun. year 2004 pa).

so imagine my glee when i discovered that the baththub next to Recky Marten is covered with --- dyaraan! plastic. can you believe it, isang malaking bathtub ang tutuklapan ko ng balot na plastic. just the thought of it, nag-o-orgasm na ako.

kaya pala kahit na anong linis ko ay lagi syang para nanglilimahid. dahil sa takip na plastik. kaya ayan, inisa-isa (err, inunti-unti kong tinuklap ang plastic).

* * *

which brings me to my point (ang layo ng p*!*&#@%-i^% segue): actually, ang pagbabakbak ng plastic sa tub ang climax ng "tamang-linis" ko this weekend. imagine, matapos kong linisin ang buong room ko pati ang CR, nag-decide ako na makipag-break na kay GF. finally.

ang rason, simple lang: ayoko nang magpaka-plastic!

obvious naman siguro 'yun.

pete 6

2010-02-02T19:23:00.001+03:00

Pete (last part)
ang mga lalaki sa buhay ni red

kapag magpa-Pasko talaga, karaniwan nang nagpaparamdam ang mga kamag-anak, kabilang na ang mga ex-. siguro dahil akala nila, aambunan sila ng grasya sa ganoong style. sa totoo lang, masakit para sa sinumang OFW na maalala lang kapag manghihingi ng regalo, balato o kahit na nga ba tulong kapag emergency.

hindi ko kilala ang number na nag-register sa missed calls ng office CP, isang hapon bago mag-Pasko kaya nag-return call ako. imagine ang pagkagulat ko nang sya ang sumagot (which ushered the start of this series, on 12 December).

"kumusta na?" bati nya nang magpakilala ako.

tulad pa rin ng dati ang boses nya- gregarious, bubbly, parang wala laging problema. pero this time, halata kong medyo nakainom sya.

dali-dali kong hinanap ang Friendster profile nya. hindi na sya mukhang hipon ngayon. in fact, malaman na sya, laluna sa middle part. epekto ba ng edad o sobrang pag-inom? pero tisoy pa rin ang loko, charming pa rin in a funny kind of way.

"nasaan ka ngayon?" tanong ko.

"sa cavite," ang sagot.

taga-Kalookan sya, anong ginagawa nya dun? lumipat na kaya sila? hmmmm...

nagtanong sya tungkol sa opening, kung matutulungan ko syang humanap ng trabaho. nag-commit ako, as usual. tinanong ko kung kumusta ang work nya... okay naman daw. tingin ko mukhang totoo naman, judging from the pictures i see sa kanyang Friendster profile.

"kumusta ang lovelife," usisa nya.

"okay lang," sagot ko, sabay paliwanag na New Year pa kami magkikita ni Jeje.

"ikaw kinalimutan mo na ako," banggit nya. "ayaw mo na ba sa akin?"

gustong isumbat sa kanya kung paano ako nakikiusap noon para lang balikan nya ako, or at least makipag-usap sya. gusto kong ipaalala sa kanya na minsang nalasing ako at nagkamali siguro syang i-accept ang tawag ko kung paano ako umiyak sa telepono para sabihing hindi ako makahanap ng ibang "baby," kung paanong mahal ko pa sya three months after nya akong talikuran. pero, para que pa, isip ko.

"hindi naman," tanggi ko. ipagpapalit ko ba sya kay Jeje? hindi siguro.

"e paano, baka malaman na naman ng utol mo na may komunikasyon tayo, mapagalitan ka pa..."

"hindi, wala na yun," giit nya. "asan ang Christmas gift ko..."

aminadong medyo nainis ako. tumawag lang pala sya manghingi ng regalo.

hindi ko na pinatagal ang usapan at naghanap na ako ng rason para putulin ang tawag.

pero sa totoo lang, sa kabila ng sakit na iniwan sa akin ng aming paghihiwalay, isa si pete sa mga magaganda kong alaala sa larangan ng pag-ibig. gusto ko sanang iwan na ang mga ala-alang 'yun na ganun.

###

pete 5

2010-02-01T18:47:00.000+03:00

saksi
ang mga lalaki sa buhay ni red: pete (part V)

every other week kung lumuwas ako ng Metro Manila para magkita kami ni pete. at saksi ang Rosas Lodge sa EDSA Munoz, ang hindi masyadong pansining motel sa gilid ng creek sa Munoz. well, akala ko lang siguro hindi pansinin ang lugar, pero sa totoo lang, isang wooden-divider lang naman ang humaharang sa mga taong umaakyat at nagche-check in dun para sa umamot ng panandaliang aliw sa mga paraisong parisukat nito.

minsan, sinundo ko sya after work at muling nag-check-in sa Rosas. as usual, alas-sais ng umaga kami maghihiwalay.

masaya kaming nagsalo sa short-time sa kaligayahan, masayang nag-breakfast sa isang kalapit na fastfood at naghiwalay nang parang wala nang makakapaghiwalay sa amin. contented akong bumalik sa Angeles para rumaket.

nagtaka na lang ako kung bakit after nyang sabihin na nakarating na sya sa bahay nila at ready nang matulog ay wala na akong na-receive na text sa maghapon na 'yun. hanggang sa sumunod na araw.

ilang beses ko din syang tinawagan, pero hindi sya sumasagot. gusto ko nang lumipad pabalik sa Maynila pero nasa kalagitnaan na ang tinatapos naming raket kaya hindi ko maiwan.

napapitlag nang mabasa ko ang nag-text after three days: si pete.

"sorry po," start ng text nya. "maghiwalay na tayo. nakita tayo ng kuya ko, paglabas natin."

biglang gumuho ang mundo ko. madaming tanong na hindi masagot, madaming patlang sa kwento na kailangang punuan. pero ano ang gagawin ko kung ayaw na nyang makipag-usap.

at ang piping saksi din palang lugar na iyon ang magiging dahilan ng aming paghihiwalay.

pete 4

2010-01-30T18:37:00.000+03:00

ang mga lalaki sa buhay ni red: pete (part iv)

magiliw (sweet) na karelasyon si pete. kahit alam kong puyat sya lagi, hindi sya nakakalimot magtext ng kasweetan - umaga, tanghali o gabi katulad ng Ladies Choice. hindi rin sya madugo (magastos), at burger lang sa Tropical Hut ang katapat pag nagsisiping kami.

minsang nag-day shift sya, nag-set kaming magkita sa isang lugar along EDSA. first time namin iyon na mag-date sa isang mall dahil baka daw may makakita sa kanya na magkasama kami. weird, di ba? considering na sa Grand Central kami nagkakilala.

ipapakilala daw nya ako kay Macell, ang gurl from work na bestfriend daw nya. gusto daw akong makilala.

kinakabahan man, nagkita-kita kami nina Macell sa Food Gallery ng mall na 'yon. dapat daw ay darating ang boyfriend nitong pulis, pero mabuti na lang at hindi ito sumipot (male-late daw).

palagay naman ang loob ko kay Macell, hindi ko lang mapagdugtong kung bakit ingat na ingat si Pete na mag-date kaming dalawa sa mga public places tulad nang mall na ito pero nasasabi nya ang tungkol sa amin sa gerlash na ito na may jowang pulis na nakadestino lang din malapit sa bahay nila.

matapos kumain, nagpaalam din kaagad si Macell dahil makikipagkita nga daw sa boyfriend sa ibang lugar.

"alagaan mo itong bestfriend ko, huh?" bilin nya sa akin bago umalis.

"siempre, mahal ko yata 'tong ungas na 'to," sagot ko naman. nagtawanan kami.

ilang minuto pag-alis nya, nakatanggap si pete ng text: "bes, magtino ka na h. hindi ka na makakahanap ng tulad nya, promise."

palakpak naman siempre ang tenga ng lolo nyo.

pete 3

2010-01-28T18:35:00.001+03:00

sizzling
ang mga lalaki sa buhay ni red: pete (part 3)

note: continuation ito ng 'wentong walang 'wenta tungkol kay pete. read part I here and part II here...

nagdesisyon kaming magkikita sa susunod nyang day-off, exactly one-week after. in between, nagligawan kami through text at tawag. the usual: "asan ka na? kumain ka na ba? love u baby! gudnyt! mwah!"

pero bago pa kami nagkahiwalay sa Jollibee, alam ko nang open sya sa relasyong m2m. ang totoo, nanggaling na sya sa isang ganoong relasyon nagtagal din ng ilang buwan. sabi pa nya, mahigit na daw isang taon 'yun bago kami nagkakilala at sa isang lalaking may asawang babae.

dalawang araw bago kami magkita, naging kami na nang sagutin nya ang usual "love u baby" text ko ng: "love u too, hon! missed u!"

matamis na parang unang halik ang una naming pagtatagpo. kumbaga sa pagkain, isang mainit na sizzling sugpo na matagal na binabad sa Sprite, iginisa sa maraming bawang at sinangkutsa sa banana catsup ang inihain nya sa aking harapan. at hindi lang isang beses syang naghain ng hapunan. pagod pa sya nun mula sa duty! hehehe.

no regrets kahit namasahe ako ng bonggang-bongga mula sa field assignment ko sa isang kalapit na probinsya ng central Luzon ~ dun ba sa maraming sugpo at hipon, saka bangus na din!

gets nyo ba ibig ko sabihin? ang hindi maka-gets, size-queen!

galing dito ang photo ng sizzling shrimp with garlic

pero mas masarap dyan ang version ko, for sure!

salamas

2010-01-26T23:31:00.002+03:00

pagkatapos ng workout, dumiretso na ako sa shower / sauna area. naabutan ko dun ang isang hindi tipikal na Arabo: maliit na halos kasingtangkad ko lang, hindi balbon, at sa hilatsa ng mukha ay parang Indianong Kerala (may makapal na bigote). kung mayroon katangi-tanging Arabo sa pisikal nyang anyo, iyon siguro ang pagkakaroon nya ng malaking tyan.

nakatapis lang sya ng twalya, tumutulo ang buhok habang umiinom ng tubig sa tabi ng water dispenser. may sinabi sya pero hindi ko naintindihan kaya tumuloy na ako sa cubicle, binuksan ang shower at hinayaan iyong dumaloy.

bumalik ako sa folding chair na katabi ng water dispenser para hintaying uminit ang tubig sa shower. sya naman ay pumasok na sa steam room.

napansin ko sya kaninang dumating habang nagbubuhat ako dahil kinausap nya si Coach. pero hindi naman sya nag-workout. "siguro'y nag-swimming, o kaya sa squash," isip ko na lang.

wala naman sa loob ko na makipag-chikahan laluna na sa mga dayuhan, kaya diretso lang ako sa routine na inirekomenda ni Coach bago umuwi: lukewarm shower, tapos dry sauna, maikling pahinga, inom ng tubig, steam room, mainit na shower.

pagtapos ng maiksing shower, pumasok na ako sa sauna, isinet ang timer sa 15 minutes. ilang minuto pa, tagaktak na ang pawis ko.

maya-maya ay pumasok din sya sa loob at tumabi sa akin sa ibabang bench. deadma lang. ano ba naman ang kailangang gawin o sabihin. aminadong naiinis ako pero hindi ko ipinahalata. kung ako ang papipiliin, gusto kong mag-isa lang ako sa sauna o sa steam room kasi pwede ko hubarin ang twalya at hayaang pati si junior ay mapreskuhan. pero andun na sya. kaya deadma na lang.

may sinabi syang hindi ko maintindihan. nag-a-attempt yata na makipagkwentuhan sa lokal nilang lenggwahe kaya sinagot ko din sa kaunting nalalaman ko na katumbas ng: "sorry, but i cannot speak your language."

sumandal na ako sa bench, pinilit na i-relax ang pagod na katawan. inikot-ikot ko ang bukong-bukong at ang kamay, tapos hinagod ang dibdib, ang mga braso. napansin kong parang ginagaya nya ang ginagawa ko pero mas malikot, mas marahas. nagpapapansin? tumaas ang kilay ko.

sinubukan kong i-masahe ang aking likod.

nagulat pa ako ng bigla nya hinagod ang aking likod. kinabahan ako, pero ulit deadma na lang. masarap kaya! masakit nga ang likod ko sa mga ipinagawa ni Coach at kahit paano ay mahusay naman ang kanyang pagkakalamas.

mula sa balikat ay bumaba ang kanyang hagod, sa likod, sa baywang, pababa pa sa aking pwetan. hep, iba na ito!

"thank you," sabi ko sabay sandal ulit sa sa bench para hindi na nya mahawakan pa. siempre, military reservation na 'yung gustong puntahan ng maurirat nyang kamay, magagalit na si junjun at si Jeje pag naulit pa yun.

nagmwestra sya na gawin ko din sa kanya ang ginawa nya sa akin. kaya't sa aking abot ng makakaya, hinagod ko din ang balikat nya, ang braso nya, pero dahil pagod na talaga ako, humingi na lang ako ng paumanhin.

nag-concentrate na ako sa pagpapawis at hindi ko na pinansin kung ano man ang ginagawa nya. napansin ko kasing para na naman syang kiti-kiti. ipinikit ko ang mga mata ko, pinilit na gawing blangko ang utak ko. alam ko ang tutunguhin ng ganitong sitwasyon kaya't todo bilin ako kay junior na hwag papalag. masunurin naman ang aking junior.

naglilikot pa rin syang parang kiti-kiti sa bench. maya-maya ay naramdaman kong muling humagod ang kanyang kamay sa aking likod, pababa, pababang muli, hanggang sa military reservation.

inalis ko ang kanyang kamay pero hinila nya ito papunta sa kandungan nya. nakalilis na ang twalya nya, nakalantad ang kanyang sundalo, nakasaludo!

may mga tao na sa labas ng sauna kaya ayokong ma-eskandalo. pero nahawakan ko pa rin ang sundalo. iginiya nya ang aking kamay. hindi kalakihan ang nahawakan ko, konting diperensya lang kay junior pero makapal.

nakaka-isa o dalawang hagod pa lang, bigla nya ding inalis ang kamay ko.

sinapo nya ang kanyang harap, sabay tayo, buhol ng twalya at labas ng sauna. naiwan sa mga twalyang nakalatag sa bench na inuupuan namin ang bakas ng kanyang pagkaduhagi.

napailing na lang ako.

* * *

matapos ang steam sauna at mahabang shower, natagpuan ko syang muli sa locker area; hindi pa rin nagbibihis. mukhang hinihintay talaga ako.

may hitsura naman sya, makinis ang mukhang maamo hindi katulad ng ibang ka-bansa nya (taga-kapit-bansa sya nitong tinutuluyan ko).

nginitian ko sya, isang pagod na ngiti at inasikaso na ang mga gamit ko. sya naman ay nagbihis na. nagsuot sya ng jogging pants at tshirt na pula.

nang pumasok ako sa dressing area na natatabingan ng kurtina para magsuot ng brief, narinig ko na lang ang mga katagang:

"thank you very much."

kasunod nun ang mga yabag na papalayo.

"hay," isip ko na lang. "salamat sa lamas!"

inuupuan

2010-01-25T00:53:00.000+03:00

araw-araw, tuwing umaga... umuupo ako kay "Recky Marten" ~ no relation to Doc Marten's, or Morten Harket... and siempre, Ricky Martin. and definitely no offense meant sa mga Bisaya, pero ganyan po talaga spelling ng name nya.

here's he is:

'ambastos ng post na ito.

pero sa totoo lang, nag-eenjoy ako na isipin na "jumebs ako kay pareng recky marten;" or "inihian ko si recky marten!"

me kakambal pa sya, lababo naman. gusto nyo din makita?

rason

2010-01-23T17:29:00.001+03:00

i can tell you a few good reasons why i want my body to look good, aside from health reasons (i'm not getting any younger) and self-esteem issues (hello, sino ba naman ang ayaw na maging papalicious ang sarili, given a chance and the resources?).

you've all seen Jeje right? now. just imagine how strange, o sya... kung gaano kapangit... if we'd be seen walking together then people would say:

"ay, ang macho naman ng bodyguard nung pandak at bigotilyong echoserang frog!"

really! i'm also doing it for me-and-my-jeje, since i know not-so-few PLUs are salivating (his term) for him. gusto siempre, yun tipong hindi naman sya mahihiya na iparada nya ako as his ehem, jeje.

and of course, para maglaway din naman sya sa akin, kahit paano, no? hindi 'yung ako lang (at ang iba) ang naglalaway sa kanya. 'chos!

aside from these, i also have my practical reasons for deciding to work-out:

1. the gap. behind my swivel chair in the office is this gap between the filing cabinets. it is a "graceful exit" that i've been using for more than two years now when i need to ~ go to the other section, run to the pantry for water or coffee, confess (in short, jumebs), or i need to go elswhere and i don't want my boss to see me going.

2. all about froggy. recently however, i've been noticing this bloated thing bloating everytime i sit in the office. its so ewww... especially looking in the mirror sideways.

and worse, i cannot use the gap anymore, even if i suck this bloated thing on. kahit mag-inhale ako to the max, lagi sya sumasabit sa "the gap."

3. goodbye fave shirt. the white shirt above is a favorite. but lately, i have difficulty wearing it because para ako laging suman-sa-lihiya wearing that shirt.

why don't also try na mag-stomach-in for ten-to-eleven hours while suot ang isang masikip na shirt? breathless, literally!

so i've sent this shirt to the box i am sending back to Pinas, among other shirts na hindi ko maisuot kasi lumobo na nga tyan ko.

so one month on, after starting the program with Coach Fer, may pagbabago kaya? we'll see...

samut-sari

2010-01-20T14:19:00.000+03:00

i've always wanted this blog to be a happy place for people like us and friends who enjoy our company. so I am giving you this "kinky" photo of what Brits refer to as "seahares."

the BBC website where i got this explains:

"Sea hares, also known as sea slugs, are hermaphrodites and can form bizarre mating chains. These chains even form complete circles as each slug plays female to the slug behind and male to the slug in front."

kalokah!

* * *

Alhamdulilah! my prayers are still for Dats despite the operation that went well.

may Allah grant you peace of mind and speedy recovery for whatever you've been going through.

the physical wounds are easier to heal, my friend. that i know..

* * *

nadale na naman ako ng system virus ng office, this time, it was after posting a comment to Baklang Maton's latest blogpost. the browser ended at 52 this time.

yesterday (see below) it ended at 59, including my open Facebook account.

kalokah!

* * *

mag may-i-thank-you-bow din ako sa lahat ng friends na nagsilbing shock-absorber ko through email and chat, especially kuri at gooeyboy... and jay of PL. special mention din si mandaya moore for offering her queenly ears.

from the bottom of my heart, thanks a lot to you guys.

as gooeyboy said, i also (and still) believe writing is a therapy. but posting the whole fracas of what i am going through might prejudice my relationship with jeje so i've decided to delete everything that i've written, including some that may have been posted already.

this would explain the blank posts.

i've also decided to send this blog to jeje.

in time, i hope, my woulds would heal.

* * *

cheers!
red

raymond

2010-01-16T23:52:00.004+03:00

virus

2010-01-16T18:26:00.000+03:00

for whatever reason, everytime i close the comment page on the last PLU blogger post i've decided to share my thoughts with, the browser would suddenly replicate itself and would not stop until there are more than 50 new webpages open. imagine, consistently opening more than 50 new pages. and it would always stop before 60 pages, for whatever fucking reason.

example is this one i captured when i tried to close BM's baklang maton in the suburbs blog after i posted a comment. there were already three pages open other than BM's and it didn't stop until there were 58.

i remember once it was antero's dominion. then baklangmaton, engkantongburaot... and just a few moments ago, its john stanley's mymorningsafter...

ampf! what's with the number 58 ba? must be some "blogger" virus named <60.

* * *

Postscript:

I forgot to tell you friends, that this happens in the office where 40% of my day is spent (thus 80% of my daily internet life and 100% of my blogging time), thus, I have no control over the technology. the office is using IE6 still, and yes, Vista.

sinukat

2010-01-13T00:01:00.002+03:00

charot

2010-01-08T15:55:00.000+03:00

You are The Lovers

Motive, power, and action, arising from Inspiration and Impulse.

The Lovers represents intuition and inspiration. Very often a choice needs to be made.

Originally, this card was called just LOVE. And that's actually more apt than "Lovers." Love follows in this sequence of growth and maturity. And, coming after the Emperor, who is about control, it is a radical change in perspective. LOVE is a force that makes you choose and decide for reasons you often can't understand; it makes you surrender control to a higher power. And that is what this card is all about. Finding something or someone who is so much a part of yourself, so perfectly attuned to you and you to them, that you cannot, dare not resist. This card indicates that the you have or will come across a person, career, challenge or thing that you will fall in love with. You will know instinctively that you must have this, even if it means diverging from your chosen path. No matter the difficulties, without it you will never be complete.

What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.

wala lang. nai-post ko lang. jejejeje!
pero mukhang sakto sya, huh!

blogrest

2010-01-06T10:18:00.021+03:00

hey, what's wrong with the Pinoy pink blogosphere? why is it that just about everybody is on hiatus, if not closing their blogs? is it creative burn-out? is it because of the holiday season?

after kwentongkeme and CJ, another one of my favorite reads is saying goodbye, temporarily, i hope.

So to you Dats, here's a sincere wish that you find what you really is searching for. in any case, just follow the road your heart leads you too. the blogosphere would always be around, waiting for you.

cheers!
red

happy

2010-01-04T16:57:00.000+03:00

dear jaresh,

anoveh, 2010 na ang bagal mo pa rin sa kwentutan. to think na sa lahat ng diary ikaw ang laging fresh: imagine, online ka; samantalang ang iba'y inaagiw at inaalikabukan lang sa baul.

happy ang lolo mo last weekend. to celebrate the new year, sino pa ba ang bibisita kundi si Jeje who volunteered to cook for the New Year get-together with some friends.

well, one thing I learned about Jeje this time is that he studied culinary ek-ek and he's actually a good cook (akala ko pagpapalaki lang ng katawan alam nya gawin, hehehe).

Jeje's Special "Stuffed Chicken", just of five something na niluto nya

jeje even arranged the 13 New Year fruits which I had completed for the first time!

looking back, i consider last weekend as our best time together. despite the very short time (two nights, two days) we spent together, taz andami pa bwisita kaya wala kaming privacy, i felt that the relationship became stronger.

sabi nga ni jeje sa chat namin kanina:
jeje [12:44]: ok lng naman yun sa akin, ang mahalaga
jeje [12:44]: kasama at katabi kita sa pag tulog
red [12:49]: yes

Jeje's Sexy Back

cheesy ito (and jologs) but he even bought a pair of doggie plush named "Jack" para ito na lang daw ang katabi namin sa pagtulog. kaya may partner na si Pippo, my plush Hippo. hmmm...

o ZsaZsa Zaturnnah, here's to a happy, blessed, fruitful, loved, successful, etc new year ahead.

cheers!
red

bagsak

2009-12-30T18:21:00.001+03:00

(sa gym ko nakilala si Ned. ito ang Part II ng Checklist)

first day ko sa gym. itinuro ni Ned sa akin ang mga dapat gawin, pero dahil mayroon syang kino-coach na guest, binibigyan lang nya ako ng instruction then aalis sya tapos babalik after a few minutes.

matagal na rin naman ako na nagbubuhat pero patigil-tigil. nung inampon ko si Jam, mga November last year, bumili kami ni Guenio ng dumbell set. si Jam ang nagsilbing GI namin kaya naging mas rigorous ang aking pagbubuhat kumpara sa mga unang attempt, pero nag-stop na naman ako pagbalik galing bakasyon (June).

matapos ang warm-up sa threadmill, nag-sample sya ng stretching. tuwing itinataas nya ang kanyang kamay, umaangat ang puting tshirt nya at nalalantad ang flat nyang tyan- makinis, walang balahibo. palibhasa medyo tisoy ang mokong.

"parang ang sarap naman himasin nun," isip ko. halla, naglalaway na ba ako?

nagulat pa ako ng magsalita sya, "o, gawin mo iyon ha?"

"ten counts, three sets..." pahabol nya sabay talikod papunta sa kliyente nyang nasa kabilang side ng gym.

"opo," sagot ko, medyo napahiya. "nahalata kaya nya?"

pilit kong inalis sa isip ko ang pagnanasang dinedevelop sa isip ko, at nag-concentrate na ako sa routine.

"maganda na pala ang katawan mo e," banggit nya nang nasa bench press machine na ako.

nakasentro na sya sa akin dahil natapos na ang session nila ng obese na kino-coach nya. "lumalabas na ang mga muscles o."

"uy, nagko-compliment," isip ko. "interesado?" natawa ako sa sarili ko. in fairness, me korte naman ang mga braso ko kahit paano.

"tyan ko lang talaga ang problema," sagot ko sa kanya sa pagitan ng pagbubuhat.

"unti-unti lang, mawawala 'yan," balik nya.

"ilang taon ka na ba?"

sinagot ko siempre.

"asawa?"

"wala pa!" medyo nainis ako dahil tinanong na din nya iyon nung una kaming magkita.

"pero may girlfriend ka naman..."

"meron naman, siempre," sagot ko ulit, me halong pagyayabang. "saka madaming boyfriends..." dagdag ko sa isip ko habang ibinababa ang machine.

napangiti ako.

"meron naman pala e," sabay bigay ng instruction kung ilang set pa. "mag-asawa ka na kasi," giit pa nya habang nagsimula ulit akong magbuhat.

"ikaw kaya gusto kong asawahin," sigaw ng isip ko.

"malaman natin pag-uwi ko," paliwanag ko na lang habang hinahabol ang hininga. "kung may tumibok pag magkasama na kami ni GF, e 'di kami. pero kung wala, e sorry na lang sya."

natawa sya.

"nasa Pinas pala," dagdag nya. "mahirap nga 'yan."

tumango ako. "e ikaw ba," tanong ko naman.

"me asawa na ako," sagot nya.

napalakas ang bagsak ng weights. isang malaking "NO" in bright neon pink ang naging sagot sa checklist pagdating sa tanong na: "available?"

"me anak na akong isa, magdadalawang taon na," dagdag pa nya.

nagconcentrate ako sa pagbubuhat. kunsabagay, masarap sa kama ang mga me asawa, laluna kung naiwan sa Pinas; sabik lagi siempre si Koya. hehehe. nagkibit-balikat lang ako... kunwari hindi affected.

"bahay nyo ba yung pinupuntahan ni Lee pag weekend?"

"oo," sagot ko, parang buga na lang dahil nagbubuhat nga.

"pwede ka ding pumunta dun pag weekend," isip ko ulit. "me pag-asa pa, hehehe."

"malapit lang pala sa bahay namin," dagdag nya.

"teka, bakit sya live out? oh my... parang alam ko na ang kasunod nito..."

"dyan lang din kami, tatlong block mula sa inyo," paliwanag pa ni Ned sabay describe sa lokasyon ng kanilang bahay. "sa ___ Hospital kasi nagwo-work si esmi."

naibagsak ko na naman ang weights. umalingawngaw ang ingay nun sa buong gym. ###

checklist

2009-12-28T18:04:00.000+03:00

bilin ni Lee, isang katropa namin ni Guenio, may kailangan daw akong sagutan na Form kaya pumunta ako sa Health Club ng hotel na katabi ng opisina. sa Hotel na yon nagtatrabaho si Lee at dahil sa naiinggit ako sa flat nyang tyan na paborito nyang ipakita sa akin (at paborito kong tapikin), naengganyo akong mag-member dun.

do you have high blood pressure or hypertension?

meron, kapag tumatambak ang trabaho at nababa-badtrip sa mga kaopisina. kasama ba yun? pero siempre, nag-check ako sa space para sa NO.

do you have any heart disease or any cardio-vascular ailment?

hindi ba kasama ang heartburn, na halos araw-araw meron ako at ang heartbreak? ilang beses na kaya. pero siempre pa, nag-check ulit ako sa space para sa NO.

do you have any fainting spells, nausea or dizziness?

isip ko: hindi pa naman ako super thundercat para magkaroon ng nauseous life at wish ko nga daw mabubuntis ako ever kaya muli akong nag-check sa NO.

ipinasa ko na ang papel at nakipagchikahan sa isa sa dalawang Pinoy na staff.

matanda na ang kausap ko pero sa aking peripheral vision ay nakita ko ang isa pa na nakikipag-usap kanina sa isang matabang Assu.

"uy, promising si kuya," isip ko habang kaharap ang matandang staff na nakaupo sa likod ng counter.

promising Pinocchio: check!

"saan ka nagwo-work?" tanong ni tatang. siempre interview portion na, kaya i hope swimsuit competition na ang kasunod. nyahahaha!

"hintayin mo lang 'yung membership ID! pero tandaan mo na yung number mo," banggit ni Lee bago magpaalam.

"o kelan ka magsisimula?" tanong ni kuya sabay lapit sa amin.

ipinakilala ako ni Lee. tiningnan ko muna ang name plate- "Ned." uy, isang letra lang ang kaibahan sa pangalan ko. palagay ko sa pangalan pa lang close na kami.

inabot nya ang kanyang kamay. ginagap ko 'yon, dinama ang malambot nyang palad, sabay ngiti.

"lika," 'aya nya patungo sa loob ng club.

mas matangkad sya kaysa sa akin, maputi. sa suot nyang shirt at jogging pants na parehong puti, makikita ang magandang hubog ng katawan na bagamat hindi naman yung tipong body builder type. sinulyapan ko ang wetpaks nya: bubblebutt, masarap lamasin.

"heto ang ating gym... dito ang dressing room..."

hinawi nya ang isang pinto.

"ito ang ating shower..."

maliit ang shower cubicle: "dyan tayo magsa-shower ng sabay," isip ko. "mas maliit, mas masarap..."

"ang hot and cold sauna..."

hay, hindi naman ako interesado sa mga amenities. sa kanya ako interesado.

* * *

dahil first day ko sa gym, nasa kaliwa ang aking BEFORE pic. hopefully, we'll see the difference after a few months.

* * *

wentong buga

2009-12-21T18:35:00.002+03:00

naintriga ako sa blog entry ni maninheat tungkol sa katamoran. kaya imbes na mag-reply ako sa kanya, dito na lang, tutal nawalan na naman ako ng gana na tapusin ang sinimulan kong kwento tungkol kay pete.

so here goes...
yung domats (kasi galing sa "etits") na may bitter aftertaste, you would notice na nagyoyosi at worse, nagdudurog (adik-adik) ang nagbuga. the more yosi the guy takes, the bitter it is.
proven ang pinyapol juice para sa manamis-namis na domats.
the best ang lasa ng domats na matagal inimbak. seriously, kasi kapag araw-araw nagtitikol, less ang sperm at mas marami ang water.
i learned from Madam Xaviera (of Playboy or Hustler, 'di na ako sure!) na mas masarap daw ang domats kapag iniro-roll sa bibig before lunukin. some say, na after a few seconds, nagiging rubbery ang domats, kaya madali na sya lunukin.
5. bad trip yung nagbubuga na walang pakundangan. minsan din, sa sobrang dami or walang pakundangan, bumabara sya sa ilong.
6. gag reflex notwithstanding, mas masarap pag naka-deepthroat habang bumubuga si kuya. kasi diretso sa esophagus, wala ka nang malalasahan. parang johnsons: "look o, no more tears!"

pete-two

2009-12-20T10:53:00.000+03:00

Part II
ang mga lalaki sa buhay ni red: pete

at nang halos magkasabay na kami, napasulyap sya sa akin at ngumiti nang buong tamis. isang saglit lang 'yun... at parang... tumigil ang daigdig. oo, jaresh, nakuha nya ako sa isang ngiti.

pero hindi pa rin kami nag-usap hanggang nakarating kami sa Ground Floor ng Mall na sa totoo lang, nakakalito kapag pasara na, dahil hindi mo na alam kung saan lulusot.

"walang daan dyan," sabi nya na parang sinasabing sundan ko sya.

"ganun ba?" sagot ko, patanong. "parang kabisadong-kabisado mo 'tong mall na ito a."

"hindi naman..."

"pauwi ka na?" pahabol kong tanong paglabas namin sa Exit.

"oo e."

"sayang!"

"bakit naman?" sagot nya.

"wow! accommodating," isip ko. shoot na sa banga ito.

sinabayan ko na sya sa paglakad sa hagdan ng Mall pababa sa Rizal Avenue.

"baka kasi 'kako gusto mo pang gumimik," suggestion ko.

tiningnan nya ang celfone nya, tapos tiningnan ako. ngumiti ulit. muling naningkit ang dalawang mata, lumabas ang pantay-pantay at mapuputing ngipin.

"gabi na e, kelangan ko nang umuwi," sagot nya. "maaga pa pasok ko bukas."

"a, Cinderella beauty," isip ko. "sino man ang wicked stepmother mo, ako ang prince charming mo."

naglakad sya pakanan, papunta sa sakayan ng jeep patungong Balintawak.

"e di kung kelan ka libre," bawi ko.

tumigil sya sa gitna ng kalsada. tama ba ang basa ko na kumukuti-kutitap ang kanyang mga mata?

"ni hindi ko nga alam pangalan mo, e."

"oo nga pala, ako si red," sabay abot ng kamay ko.

"pete," sagot nya. nasabi nya ang buo nyang pangalan (ang actual nyang nickname ay initials ng isang brand ng electronic gadget) pero siempre hindi ko pwedeng i-anunsyo sa buong sandaigdigan 'yun. "actually, gusto ko nga sana e..."

"nagugutom kasi ako," sabi ko. niyaya ko syang kumain sa pinakamalapit at bukas na tindahan na nakita ko: ang walang kamatayang... Jollibee.

palagay naman agad ang loob nya habang kumakain kami, naglalampaso ang crew sa palibot namin, at nagtatanungan tungkol sa buhay-buhay:

dati din syang crew ng Jollibee
nagwo-work sa isa sa mga naglipanang coffee shop (na ang specialty ay tsaa, for whatever reason, mas nag-enjoy ako talaga sa Red Ice Tea kesa sa alinmang blends nila).
tapos ng HRM sa isang middle-rated na eskwelahan ('yung tipong hindi nagta-top sa ratings ng CHED pero hindi rin naman obscure na tipong doesn't ring a bell).
at higit sa lahat, mahilig manood ng sine sa sinehang paborito ko din tambayan, para... matulog!

day-off nya pero maaga ang kanyang pasok kinabukasan kaya walang jerjerang magaganap. ako naman ay bibyahe na patungong kalapit na probinsya para rumaket. nagdesisyon kaming magkikita sa susunod nyang day-off, exactly one-week after.

(Itutuloy)

nagbabalik

2009-12-12T01:08:00.006+03:00

ang mga lalaki sa buhay ni Red: Pete

mahilig akong manood ng sine.
mahilig akong manood ng sine nang mag-isa.
mahilig akong manood ng sine nang mag-isa sa Grand Central cinema.

yes, mahilig akong manood ng sine dun sa lugar na kilala din sa mga GSM celfones. GSM as in short for "galing sa m..." alam nyo 'yun ~ in other words, second-hand o recon, hehehe. basta, regular ako sa P.I. na mainit na sinehang 'yun kasi una, one-ride lang sya sa tinutuluyan ko nung mga panahong 'yun; ikalawa, mura ang entrance; at higit sa lahat, marami akong napulot na karanasan sa lugar na 'yon. isa na dun si pete.

hindi naman ako nanonood ng sine para humada, pumik-ap ng hada o magpahada. kumbaga, added benefits na lang 'yon. *wink*

nang magkakilala kami ni pete, tanda ko na gustong-gusto ko ang palabas nun. at the same time, gustong-gusto ko ding makakuha ng makaka-sex, pero as it is, umuwi akong luhaan.

pasarado na ang mall nang lumabas ako ng sinehan. malinis na din ang mall maliban sa mga security guard na nakapwesto sa bawat palapag. pababa na ako sa hagdan nang mapansin ko ang isang lalaki~ balingkinitan, halos kasing-tass ko lang, naka-shorts, naglalakad ilang hakbang mula sa akin. binilisan ko ang lakad upang maabutan sya.

at nang halos magkasabay na kami, napasulyap sya sa akin. ngumiti sya nang buong tamis at lumabas ang biloy nya sa kaliwang pisngi. isang saglit lang 'yun... at parang... tumigil ang daigdig. oo, jaresh, nakuha nya ako sa isang ngiti.

flash

2009-12-01T22:17:00.001+03:00

Ondoy redux? Think again.

This is Quwaisah District in Jeddah, Saudi Arabia after an extremely heavy rainfall on 25 November 2009. Government reports than over 100 were killed in a disaster that seemed out of place in this desert Kingdom. But then again, with climatic change hanging all over our heads, what do you expect?

For more videos, you may check out this video showing the strength of the flashflood and this showing the aftermath.

secret's out

2009-11-30T16:50:00.000+03:00

people think i'm out but i'm not. isa lang yan sa misteryo ng buhay ko.

among other things, here's 39 of my best kept secrets.

1. mga pinagpapantasyahan (pinagj***k*l*n) ko noon: Albert Anido, Richard Gomez.

2. crush na crush ko si Pops Fernandez at Carmina Villaroel noon (hanggang ngayon).

3. mahilig akong magmasturbate noon sa sukalan, sa silong ng mga damong hapon o kamoteng kahoy. enjoy na enjoy ako kapag nagmamasturbate habang nalalanghap ang amoy ng mga damo-damo (damong hapon, kamoteng kahoy)...

4. halos araw-araw ako kung magmasturbate (hanggang ngayon).

Grade 6 ako ng unang maka-encounter ako ng porn, audio tape pa. tandang-tanda ko pa ang kwento (nasa abroad ang asawa ni Aling Rose, kasama nya sa bahay si Edwin na pamangkin ng asawa at ang malanding katulong na si Inday) at ang eksena sa pagkakabit ng kurtina.

una kong napanood na porn ay Taboo.

5. nalunod ako sa swimming pool na three feet lang ang lalim.

6. nung elementary ako, dalawang beses akong natae sa salawal.

7. first year high school na ako natutong magsuot ng brief.

hand-me-downs ang lahat ng brief ko noon. second year high school na ako ng nabilhan ako ng sarili kong brief.

8. the first time akong kumain ng petsay at sabaw ng tahong (if you get what i mean), napatakbo ako sa kubeta para sumuka.

9. isang adik-adik na bading ang unang sumuso sa akin, pero hindi ako nilabasan.

10. the next day, binigyan ako ng nanay ng bading na sumuso sa akin ng 50 pesos.

12. 14 years old ako ng una akong subukan na pick-up'in sa loob ng sinehan pero hindi ako sumama.

13. 16 naman ako ng unang ma-pick up ng isang bading sa lansangan (basketball court to be exact). yung bading din na yun ang unang taong iniuwi ko sa bahay namin para maka-sex.

14. isang seminarista ang unang nangharass sa akin although unsuccesfully, when i was 14 years old.

11. behind my back, tinatawag akong "marshmallow" ng mga org-mates ko sa Diliman. akala nila, hindi ko alam yun.

13. ni minsan ay hindi ko naisip na magpapakasal ako (ng babae). sa interview portion ng sinalihan kong aktibistang organization nung college, ito ang isinagot ko sa tanong na: "ano ang paninindigan mo na hindi maaaring magbago?"

18. kapag tinatanong ako, kung bakit hindi pa ako nag-aasawa, ikinukwento kong nagplano akong magpakasal noong 2005 pero hindi natuloy kasi nabuntis ng iba ang girlfriend kong doktora. hindi totoo lahat ng ito.

hindi rin totoo na nabuntis ko si Zenaida, ang makemeng girlfriend ko nung high school na nag-Japayuki after graduation. lalong hindi totoo na nakunan sya habang nagte-training sa pagdya-Japan.

sa loob ng 39 years, ___ na/pa lang ang nakaka-sex ko. dalawa lang dun ang babae.

immoral

2009-11-26T14:53:00.000+03:00

dos

2009-11-24T11:47:00.000+03:00

yeehaw! after two years, 214 posts, three series, lots of stories, some poetry, a few men, and a lot of wentutang walang kabalbalan, this blog is getting...

nowhere.

hehehehe. just kidding.

so what should be expected next year: more of the same, i should say, only less of personal stuff and more of wentong beki sa sodi and other steamy stuff. i've wanted so hard to concentrate on my "mga lalaki sa buhay ni red" stories, hopefully i can get it done this year.

cheers!

red

reeling

2009-11-24T10:42:00.000+03:00

my FB shout-out for today was meant only for jeje:

minsan lang ako maglambing through chat, binara mo pa by not taking me seriously. i know you've been chatting and setting up with a lot others, why would you be online at Pic-Link everyday for? you only remember me when you need something, like your SMS this morning. i'm hurting, everyday, and it seems you are only waiting for one feeble chance to end this. i hope this is all just because of the flu.

masama kasi pakiramdam ko: am not sure if its flu or colds (which is usual for me due to the change of weather here). i hope its not AH1N1 and since i've got a vaccine shot last year against the usual flu associated with Hajj pilgrims, i know it couldn't get worse than a cold.

add this to some very unpleasant things i've been feeling about everything else which is sending me to a downward spiral.

but anyway, i tried chatting with Jeje. told him i need to go to a doctor, and get antibiotics for the lumpy throat. sagutin ba naman ako ng:

"kung anu-ano kasi sinusubo..."

taena. wish ko nga daw, me sex-life ako lately after ng Deo episode na naging source ng last away namin. na bad trip talaga ako.

ako [10:21]: sinusubo?
jeje [10:25]: na pag kain
ako [10:21]: masakit lalamunan ko sa sipon
jeje [10:25]: ano ba
jeje [10:25]: ayan
jeje [10:25]: mahilig sa lamig
jeje [10:25]: hahahhahahaa
ako [10:21]: ewan ko sa yo
jeje [10:26]: uy galit ang mahal ko
jeje [10:26]: sige na nga
jeje [10:26]: di ka na mabiro
ako [10:26]: wrong timing ka naman kasi

ok, granted that i'm so sensitive because of the colds (i can actually feel that i'm settling to depression because of a lot of things), but i feel that was so insensitive of him to not even say sorry.

ako [10:26]: yun na lang mga kachat mo biruin mo
jeje [10:31]: sige
jeje [10:31]: no porbs
jeje [10:31]: bye
jeje [10:31]: kung ayaw mo maka chat ako
jeje [10:31]: no probs
jeje [10:31]: sabihin mo lng
jeje [10:31]: dikita pipilitin kung ayaw mo
ako [10:27]: ganyan ka naman lagi
jeje [10:32]: sig ena Je
jeje [10:32]: tnx
jeje [10:32]: bye
jeje [10:32]: cencya
jeje [10:32]: and sorry
jeje [10:32]: kung nasira araw mo
ako [10:28]: cge na, ok na yun
jeje [10:32]: wag na
jeje [10:32]: bye

i was only waiting for him to say sorry. i even called him up only for that, but it seems he was too proud for that. at that.

pakaskas

2009-11-21T11:27:00.000+03:00

kaskasan na!

this was how Guenio announced the arrival of our credit cards. for whatever reason, it took more than two months from the time we made the application to the arrival of the cards.

and take note of its plural form: because whether you like it or else, they come in twos here. but i sure hope they don't charge us the services of the two instead of one.

after hurdling the first stage (waiting and following up the arrival), getting the card activated is another mess. their toll-free line is unrealiable, i have to call them thrice just to get the card activated.

frankly, i don't like the idea of relying on "credit" but having one definitely have its advantages. personally, i look at this as a challenge to properly manage the bourses.

so, guess what i used the Visa the first-time for?

a plane ticket for Jeje to visit. what else.

ang lalaki sa kabila ng kalsada

2009-11-20T17:45:00.000+03:00

Lagi kong pinagmamasdan
ang lalaki sa kabila ng kalsada.

Siya, na ang matatag na tindig
balaning umaakit ng pagtatangi
sa mata kong umaapuhap ng silahis
malikmatang araw sa asero
lumalabay na bisig niyang
buong buo, hindi tulad ko:

Binibilang ang bawat pitik sa dibdib
sa mga sasakyang yumayao't
parito sa lansangan.

Lumulutong bawat niyang halakhak
pagsilip ng ngiti sa maamong mukha
ng babaeng kasama niya roon palagi,
halik sa siphayong pumipintig
ang tinig niyang lumulunod

Sa magaspang na pag-ungol
ng bawat sasakyang umarangkada
papalayo sa akin.

At habang kanyang kinakalong
panganay ng pakikipagtalad sa mga ulap
nag-aanyaya bawat niyang ngiti
pinatingkad ng sikat ng araw
sa nangungusap niyang mga mata
habang lumalabo ang aking paningin

Nilalambungan ng makapal na usok na naiiwan
ng bawat sasakyang pumapaspas na lumisan.

Maiksi lamang ang pagitan palapit

Ang lalaki sa kabila ng kalsada
nitong aking pagkatao

Ngunit sa bawat kong pagpupumilit na humakbang
hinihila akong pabalik ng aking karuwagan
nililigis, dinudurog sa sementong lansangan

Upang sa aking kanlungan ako'y muling
mapaatras.

~ nilikha sa Victory Bus Terminal (Quezon City), 1997

call-to-action

2009-11-18T11:32:00.000+03:00

my two cents worth.

Got this excerpt from Migrante's statement protesting their delisting from the groups eligible to run in the 2010 Partylist elections:

"Recently, the COMELEC has removed Migrante from the list of qualified contenders for the 2010 partylist elections. The move from the poll body was widely criticized by Migrante as well as various OFW groups worldwide saying that the COMELEC denied the group their day in court. “The gravity of this COMELEC decision delisting Migrante can not be over emphasized,” said Regalado (Connie Bragas-Regalado, Migrante Sectoral Party Chairperson).

“Not only did the COMELEC denied Migrante its right to due process; it has, in essence, deprived the over ten million overseas Filipinos and their families of their much deserved right to genuine sectoral representation,” she said.

Regalado said her group is gearing up to challenge the COMELEC ruling by elevating their case to the Supreme Court. Protest actions against Migrante’s deletion are also heating up inside and outside the country.

Just last week, the COMELEC stirred up a hornets nest for throwing out the petition for accreditation of gay group, Ang Ladlad Partylist. Citing verses from the Bible and the Koran, the COMELEC said Ang Ladlad’s “petition must fail” because the group is allegedly “advocating immoral doctrines” and in order to “protect the youth from moral and spiritual degradation.” (xxx)

Kung ang migrant workers group ngang Migrante with its proven track record in pursuing the rights and welfare of the sector it represents, its heightened advocacy, its reach (active chapters nationwide and in 22 countries worldwide, and still counting), and its more than 22 years of experience as an organization (Migrante, the organization was formed in 1987), hindi makalusot sa COMELEC, LGBT pa?

Doubtful lang ako sa 'hornet's nest' na sinasabi sa statement: umingay ba? Maliban kasi sa Migrante who has been moving heaven and earth to overturn COMELEC's decision, wala akong nababalitaang any action led by Ang Ladlad to protest its case, other than the statements released by other groups (mainly BAYAN, Akbayan...) and personalities (just today, Sen. Loren Legarda issued a statement) on its behalf.

Ang Ladlad as the self-professed leader of LGBT should be the most vocal and most aggressive group to lead any protest. Ang Ladlad as a Party should be the one speaking for themselves, not other groups and personalities.

And when we say protest, not only on paper or on the internet, but we are talking of visible, warm bodies out there in the streets, not inside bars or auditorium because who would see it outside of ourselves?

As a Party, it must be able to solidify the whole LGBT sector to protest, but four days on, the issue is fizzling out instead of snowballing, even on cyberspace.

Also, shouldn't all Pink bloggers be blogging about it at the same time (Rainbow Bloggers Philippines should initiate a Blog-Action Day in support and in protest, but this will be RBP, not Ang Ladlad)?

Finally, Ang Ladlad, should also ally with other groups dispelled by COMELEC's decision because it seems there is a deliberate effort by the powers-that-be to keep within the margins of democratic processes, the marginalized sectors.

Otherwise, Ang Ladlad Party(list) would just be good enough for another... coming-out party!

Cheers!
red

PS. May General Assembly pala ang Ang Ladlad kahapon (17 Nov 2009), I wonder what they have agreed on. I hope they won't simply protest in silence as they are wont to do.

All photos taken from Rainbow Bloggers Philippines.

4some

2009-11-17T12:30:00.000+03:00

please say hello to the three companions i have, wherever I go (kaya foursome kami lagi):

si Darna, a N6300 na mahilig lumipad. ikatlong araw pa lang, she flew from my hands at nag-landing sa carpet ng room. i loved her for capturing those special moments mentioned in this blog (especially the "signs" series, and any photo showing my flat and flatmates). so after more than two years (i bought her on August 2007), heto na sya: notice how she blew her cover after flying and falling at least six feet high and landing on the pavement.

next is Thea, an N5800. mahilig magpahimas (kasi touch screen). si GF ang laging kausap, kasi roaming SIM ang kapartner nya. bought only last May.

and say hello to RedSon, a SE-T700, the most trusted accomplice in accomplishing my Jewel Quest.

of the three, si Thea ang favorite ~ favorite pansinin (sossy daw!) at arborin (ina-arbor ni utol and now, ni Pol).

* * *

hindi naman sa pagmamayabang ito. dito kasi, its a necessity for Pinoys to have a minimum of two~ one for local SIM, another for roaming. we use the local SIM to call and send messages, and we use the Roaming SIM for incoming text messages (kasi piso lang ang text sa roaming compared to P10 to P20 if they send it to the local network).

in my case, i need three because the company gave me a SIM so they can contact me anytime. on call?

cheers!
red

pol 3

2009-11-14T11:13:00.000+03:00

mensahe

three days old na ang post na ito:

hindi kami nag-abot sa bahay nang umuwi sya during our break.

my lunch break ends at 3:30, just when he's going out of his workplace to end the morning shift. since i usually extend beyond the normal office hours, i don't catch him when he leaves to start the evening shift.

as I've said,nag-iwan sya ng makabagbag-damdaming mensahe sa sofa. well, at least 'yun ang sabi ng mga "kapatid" na lumanding sa bahay. ganito ang eksena.

ako (sa tonong irritated, habang naghuhubad ng polo: "bakit nagkalat ang cotton buds dyan?"

bobot (ang Bisayang wannabe-jack-of-all-trades habang naggugupit ng letters para sa backdrop ng Assembly ng isang community organization): "me naiwan ngang mensahe dyan kanina e. kanino ba naggaling 'yun?"

"ewan ko," sabi ko na lang habang kunot-noong dinadampot nang paisa-isa ang kumalat na cotton buds.

ilang minuto pa, tumawag si Pol. lumabas ako ng kwarto para hindi kami marinig ng tropa na regular na tumatambay sa bahay.

pol: "nakita mo?"

ako: "'tado, iba ang nakabasa ng mensahe mo. sa susunod huwag mo nang gagawin 'yon. alam mo namang kung sinu-sino pumapasok sa kwarto."

pero sa totoo lang, aminadong kinilig ang lolo nyo. heto yung mensahe actually, kuha ng celfone cam nya na kanina ko lang na-retrieve. "

pol 2

2009-11-10T13:01:00.000+03:00

the morning after

nagtatanong si Pol kung ano itatawag nya sa akin. or magiging tawagan namin. he suggests terms like "hon" na ginamit na ni Kulukadidang No. 2 sa akin; and "'to" na short for "Toto" which is usual for Visayans.

e hindi naman sya Bisaya. in fact, purong Tagalog sya at maging mga magulang nya.

"o sige, 'baby' na lang!" habol nya habang nagsusuot ako ng sapatos for office.

"ewww!" reklamo ko. the fact that he is asking me for our term of endearment means he's serious. but am I?

napapa-iling na lang ako sa pinaggagawa ko. sa looks, sa ipagmamalaki, sa performance sa kama... malayong-malayo si Pol kay Jeje. but then again, hindi lang naman doon bine-base ang relationship.

we'll see... i'll just cross the bridge when its burning.

pulot

2009-11-09T11:23:00.000+03:00

totoo ito. walang kyeme.

* * *

kagabi, may nakitulog sa bahay. the usual...

kumain kami

inabala ako sa pag-pa-Farmville ko

nakinuod ng GMA Pinoy TV

humiling na samahan ko bumili ng gamit sa bahay (plato, kaldero, pinggan)

nagpahilot ng likod

nagpamasahe ng ulo

the height, tabi daw kami matulog sa lapag.
"nakakahalata na ako," sabi ko sa kanya nang tumabi sa higaan matapos manood ng Star Trek sa aking PC. "nagpa-paalaga ka ba?"

"kung pwede nga sana e," sagot nya sabay taas ng mga kamay na inilagay sa ilalim ng ulo.

kinabig ko sya palapit sa akin, "ano ba kasi yang papaalagaan mo? tuta, kambing, manok, elepante..."

ipinatong ko ang aking hita sa kanyang harapan, dinama ang nabubuhay na "alaga" na nagtatago dun.

"gawin mo na kung ano gusto mong gawin dyan," sagot nya sabay buntong-hininga.

* * *

papangalanan natin syang Pol, as in "pulot." abangan.

pseudo

2009-11-07T11:08:00.000+03:00

idinuduyan ako ng iyong tinig
patungo sa landas ng mga alamid,
doon, kung saan tayo nagtagpo, noon
minsang tag-ulan at mababa
ulap sa bundok Sinombrero, ang iyong hininga
humahaplos sa aking batok.
basa tayo ng pawis sa maghapong paglalakad
sakbat ko ang pangamba sa aking dibdib
yumakap ka sa akin upang langhapin
tsokolateng nakatago sa aking bulsa, sa aking kamay
orkidyas na luray ang inagaw natin
sa mataas na punong narra. nabagting ka pa,
pag-akyat. hindi kita sinalo.

ngayon,
nahihirapan akong huminga. tila
idinuduyan ako ng iyong tinig sa pagtulog
dahil sa

Flutab
for symptomatic relief of cold and flu.
contains pseudo-ephedrine.

~ nilikha sa riyadh, 27 Disyembre 2004 ~

#

Translation:

your voice hums me slowly to sleep, brings me
to the trodden paths of mountain cats,
there, where we meet for the first time, then
one rainy season when the clouds are low
at Mt. Sinombrero, your breath
caressed my neck.
our bodies wet with sweat from a day-long walk,
i wore my fears on my chest
you embraced me to savor
fragrance of chocolate hidden in my shirt pocket, in my hands
the wilted orchid we robbed
earlier from the tall narra tree where the vines caught you.
you fell - but i didn't catch you.

now, i can hardly breath as if
your voice is soothing me to sleep
because of

Flutab
(for symptomatic relief of cold and flu.
Contains pseudo-ephedrine.

~ written in riyadh, 27 December 2004 ~

Notes:
Flutab is ~~now banned in Saudi Arabia~~
a victim of a hoax email announcing it as dangerous to health.
Sinombrero is part of the Caraballo mountains along the Nueva Ecija-Pangasinan border; unfortunately photos are unavailable.
Photo of Caraballo mountains along San Quintin from Paramio here.

chaita

2009-11-06T11:14:00.000+03:00

sa mga mahilig uminom ng tsaa, chai tayo!

cheers!

whatevers

2009-11-04T11:03:00.000+03:00

me mga puma-follow pala ng blog ko. kaka-inspire naman kahit 17 lang. kaya sa inyong lahat:

cheers!

super flattered naman ang lolo nyo! hope you enjoy yung mga ka-ewanan ko dito.

* * *

sad naman ako for dats, kung nagtuluy-tuloy yung post nya here. you dont just throw away seven years like that. but then... whatevers.

* * *

for the nth time, sinabihan ako ng mga utaw na "tumaba" daw ako. regular naman ako nagkikilo, yet my average weight is still 62 kilos for ten months now! wtf! so where's the added fats? is this it?

or maybe I should stop wearing those extra small shirts i learned to wear this year? or keep the military ("stomach in) posture?

yeah, yeah, damn right! need to hit the gym again. whatevers...

* * *

palagi na naman nagte-text si Jeje. as in araw-araw, umaga't hapon. his SMS wakes me up in the morning, 'cause he goes to work at 730 while i swipe the card at 9AM. he'll send another SMS before he goes to gym at night, or at least before he leaves the office. during weekends, he also tells me when he's going out.

well, dapat lang naman cguro since sa akin naman galing ang load.
but then again, siempre, kinikilig pa rin ang lolo nyo.

* * *

tinatamad ako actually. as in. dapat nasa misa ako kahapon taz service meeting pero sobrang sakit ng ulo at batok ko. so i preferred to stay at home and do this blogpost.

sa friday, darating ang ilang Congressmen/woman para sa isang on-site Congressional hearing but i'm not interested. feeling ko, all i wanna do right now is...

sleep.
sleep 'til the frustrations wear off.

or wear me out.

or wear me thin.

i wish...

whatevers.

cheers!

hada

2009-11-03T01:47:00.000+03:00

dito sa lugar ko, very common ang term na "hada" which in my carabao-Arabic means, "iyan" or "yan." kaya siguro ang mga Pinocchiong becky at home na at home dito laluna kung ito ang iinumin mo:

imagine, kung mag-uusap kayo:
anong ginawa mo sa pantry?
ano pa, e di humada.

lol! at tingnang maige: ang aking "hada" me award ng Hari. vonggadora!

kaya hwag nyo nang itanong kung bakit super ngiti na parang kinikiliti ang dalawang Pinocchiong becky na 'yan sa harap ng Hotel.

i'm sure, naging merry sila dien. lolz!

cheers!

rebound

2009-10-19T11:02:00.000+03:00

on the rebound, happy na ulit si guenio. lately, para daw syang teenager ulit, courtesy of isang gurl na nagwo-work sa isang hospital dito. hindi na rin sya natutulog sa room, for whatever reason na hindi ko alam. kaya nga nami-miss ko ang mga ganitong eksena gabi-gabi:

dahil sa heartache (daw!) na binigay ni guenio sa utol ni GF, nagpalitan kami ng text. sinabing kong dahil long-distance nga ang relasyon malaki ang posibilidad na magkahiwalay (tulad nga ng nangyari sa kapatid nya at kay guenio). ang turo nga sa Singles, kung long distance ang relationship, it is better na lang na putulin ang relationship to free each other, just in case may makilala ang sinuman na makaka-relate.

ang totoo, tulad ng nangyari kay guenio, hindi nagbu-bloom ang emotion sa part ko. parang wala lang, kaya i told her na: "huwag mag-full blast sa akin."

napatigil ako sa ginagawa ko nang mabasa ang reply nya: "ano yung full blast?"

charity

2009-10-11T13:17:00.000+03:00

sensya na po. busy-busyhan ng ilang araw ang lolo nyo. dramang charity.

dahil sa pananalasa ng bagyong Ondoy at Pepeng, nabagbag na naman ang pusong mamon ng mga Pinocchio. ayun, mega-hanap, mega-kolekta ang lahat ng donations. naging tambakan ng relief goods ang balay ng lolo nyo (for one week lang naman). buti na lang, merong mga fwends na ready to help, kahit sa pag-eempake.

sa totoo lang, daig pa namin ang binaha sa dami ng gustong tumulong, laluna sa pagbibigay ng used clothing kaya pinroblema talaga ng mga community groups kung paano ito ipapadala sa mga nasalanta. mabuti na lang, mismong mga Pinocchio sa DHL ang nag-offer na mag-cargo nito nang libre pauwi sa Pinas. kaya go ang mga utaw, kabilang ang lolo nyo, para madispatsa na agad ang mga relief.

nakailang balik din pick-up na 'yan para ihatid ang kahun-kahong relief na naipon sa balay at sa iba pang tropa. hopefully, sa loob ng isang linggo, makakarating ang tulong sa mga nasalanta ng bagyo.

* * *

recounting

2009-09-30T10:34:00.000+03:00

nung una, pambili lang ng load.

tapos, pandagdag sa baon nung bakasyon.

tapos:
~ dagdag sa pambili ng materiales sa itinatayong bahay.
~ dagdag na allowance nung bakasyon.
~ pang-down sa 32" Sony Bravia LCD.
~ panggastos habang naghihintay ng sahod matapos bumalik mula sa bakasyon.
~ laptop.
~ pamblow-out sa barkada sa birthday nya.

nagbibilang na ako sa daliri, hindi sa bulsa.

hindi 'yan para sa nanay ko, sa utol ko, o lalo na sa GF ko.
huwag nyo nang itanong kung kanino, dahil nasasaktan ako.

relief

2009-09-28T10:11:00.000+03:00

kahapon, nagkaroon kami ng mahabang pag-uusap ni Guenio tungkol sa kanyang GF na kapatid ni GF ko. five days ago, ibinagsak na nya ang bomba: na ayaw na nya dahil wala na daw talaga syang maramdaman.

at kanina, tinanggap na daw ng GF ang katotohanan na break na sila.

ibig sabihin, yung attraction na naramdaman ni Guenio the first time na magkita sila ay hindi na-develop into full blown love. ayon pa kay Guenio, crucial ang password issue dahil doon nya nakita kung gaano ka-insecure at kababaw ang GF nya. after nun, nawalan na sya ng gana at tila lahat na lang gawin ng GF nya ay pinipintasan nya. kabilang na ang FS testi na ito:

na pinagtatawanan ng tropa dahil parang billboard sa EDSA. i mean, kailangan ba talagang ipagsigawan 'yon sa FS?

at ang comment ng GF (kilala ba nya talaga ang BF nya?) sa isang photo ni Guenio (na nagsasayaw ng shirtless to the tune of "Jumbo Hotdog." Hehehehe!):

sa totoo lang, parang pareho kami ni Guenio ng naging "kapalaran". naging mas mahaba lang ang "password" episode sa amin ni GF dahil meron pa 'yong extension ~ ang "single status" sa FB/FS na naging ugat din ng pagtabang ng aking interes sa jologs na GF.

natutuwa naman ako kay Guenio. malaya sa sya dahil naging mas matapang sya na harapin ang katotohanan.

mabuti pa sya.

* * *

at speaking of bagyo, nagkukumahog ngayon ang mga OFWs sa pag-iipon ng relief para sa mga nasalanta ng bagyong Ondoy. nagtitiklop na nga kami ng mga used clothes sa bahay para maipadala sa mga sinalanta.

isasama na namin ni Guenio ang aming mga gamit na puso. bakasakali, mayroon pang pwedeng gumamit.

bedmate

2009-09-26T15:05:00.000+03:00

i have a new bedmate! ang name nya, Pippo.

at kilala sya ni Jeje. in fact, sya nga nagpakilala sa amin e.

eto sya.

unwelcome

2009-09-17T10:46:00.000+03:00

starting Saturday will be the long official vacation around here. for those unfamiliar with the culture, they call it Eid Al Fitr, the celebration after the Holy Month of Ramadan. this holiday, more or less equals our Pasko in terms of pabonggahan ~ food, lights, etc. and this year, it will coincide with their National Day, thus the long holiday in our office (which will go for at least seven days, the longest I have experienced so far).

this is definitely a welcome break. ngayon pa lang fully booked na ang aking planner: a date with Jeje, meetings, outing, educational discussions... pero merong isang inaantay na bisita na i'm sure hindi welcome sa mga OFWs.

clue: mayroon syang prominenteng nunal.

ebents

2009-09-11T16:09:00.000+03:00

madaming nangyari sa akin nitong last week/s. blessings, blessing in disguise, good-bad news. a curse. bahala na kayong mag-classify.

1. since the start of Ramadan month, 9-5 lang ang office hours pero straight ito, with minimal food and water (fasting din kami). as in, regular food ko during office hours ay 1 cupcakes plus a small pack of banana-milk taken inside a cubicle of the comfort room.

2. seven straight days na akong walang rice. ganun pa rin waistline ko but we'll see after one month. wehehehe!

3. nasama kami sa binigyan ng Ramadan bonus. blessing, kasi zero balance ulit ang aking finances.

4. na-reformat na finally ang aking laptop pero hindi na gumagana ang headset plug (kaya naka-full volume sya kahit nakasaksak ang headset).

5. nakapag-download ako ng sangkaterbang gay-themed Pinoy indie movies ... pero hindi ko pa napapanood kahit isa (see items above and below).

6. bumili ng bagong laptop si housemate Guenio at ginawa na nyang workplace ang aking sofa. full time na syang tambay sa kwarto at every night na din syang dito natutulog. hmmmm...

7. nagiging makakalimutin ako: naiwan ko ang memorable cellphone ko sa taxi. buti na lang, napulot ito ng isang cute at mabait na Sudani, kaya nabawi ko pa.

8. duda ko, mayroon na akong 'memory gap.' bumili ako ng isang bottle ng stresstabs.

9. na-dale ng aluminum door ang nail sa aking ring finger. is this a sign na hindi ako dapat mag-asawa? hehehe... for three days, automatic member ako ng tikwas-daliri gang (refer to Bubble Gang gag entitled, "Tikwas-Daliri").

10. may nami-miss ko: isang lalaking may nunal. hindi kami nag-chat ng dalawang araw. yung magre-react dito, pangit! :p

11. nasira ang cellphone ni GF. meaning, hindi na sya makaka-text lagi. less talk, less arguments.

12. okay na kami ulit ni Jeje. tinatawag na nya ako ulit ng "jeje". nagsasabi na sya ulit ng "i love you." naxxxx. *kilig*kilig*

13. for our anniversary, me and Jeje agreed to offer prayers for his dead brother-in-law. how's that for celebrating?

amoy

2009-09-10T14:32:00.000+03:00

wentutang pabango

i've already finished this perfume i bought before i went on vacation

and this cologne i have (which i bought as a gift to a cousin but ended up using), is burning my skin, maybe from the alcohol...

i bought a new one last night: Beckham Signature.

i'm disappointed though! i like david beckham, a lot for a totally different reason and this doesn't count at all. this doesn't seem to fit his name well. maybe because it smells like some other fragrance i used before but didn't enjoy for whatever reason.

it is also, somewhat, forgettable. madaling makalimutan.

oh well, we do make some mistakes some time. i think i'd stick to the familiar brands again.

You may check Beckham Signature cologne here.

caffeine shock

2009-09-08T18:03:00.000+03:00

we meet somewhere, somehow
and over coffee we sipped
each minute by; our eyes
lock, we kiss; embraced
hot brew that brimmed
over the cup in our hands -
heat is the rush caffeine
in your lips, sugar on your hips
cream on your bosom -
drowned the din that was
the net, as if
we have known each other
for a lifetime. until

we've finally met face to face
somewhere, somehow

and facing the bottom of the cup
realized

there won't be any refills.

~ written in riyadh, september 2004 ~

drama

2009-09-03T10:33:00.000+03:00

as i've mentioned, natuloy ang reunion ng tropang PLU that weekend (some three weeks ago). it was very... short, but it was really worth having Lance and Artxina around coz i've never had a good laugh in a short while, especially since the Deo-episode of the JejeRed story.

Artxina, who just came for vacation, is asking around for any prospective job for his bestfriend-cum-lover. apparently, until now, pinagnanasaan pa rin nya si housemate Guenio.

Lance, as usual, is complaining about his bulging tummy. two years on and still going strong, we complimented him on his katutubong jowa.

besides the long kumustahan, the most striking part of the conversation was: hindi sila resolved kay Jeje. duda nila, may milagro itong ginagawa behind my back. especially Artxina who met Jeje when he went there.

in his/her/its usual chirpy self, Artxina continues:

alam mo bang nun andun ako, me tumawag sa kanya. tinatanong 'ata kung ano ang ulam. taz, sabi nya dun sa kausap nya: "Gusto ko ikaw magluto ng sinigang e... antayin kta dito ha?" parang ang lambing-lambing nga nya...

na-hurt ako siempre. until i realized it might be me calling because i remember that sweet-sweetan talk.

hay, tigilan na nga ang ka-dramahang ewan! go na sa true purpose ng post na ito.

* * *

its our second year today Je!

i may not be able to find the right words to express how i feel about you, Je, but surely you know by now how much i love you. despite my shortcomings, despite my mistakes, ikaw pa rin ang aking one true Jeje.

bitchy

2009-09-02T10:10:00.000+03:00

the initial impression of most people is either i'm grouchy, grumpy, masungit, even mataray. to be honest, i didn't mean to be impolite (at the very least) or bithcy, but i guess i'm just too straighforward for comfort.

looking in, being in the closet means you have to fend off a lot of things: jokes, blunt criticisms, offhand comments, snide remarks, among other hurtful words. i guess i have learned to bitch around partly as a defense mechanism, but most of the time, to fend off people from being too close. unfortunately, that is one trait i have learned that i cannot seem to shake.

some examples:

to the call center agent, following up the boss on a supposed USD 300 Economic Conference which my boss do not want to attend.

agent sofia: can i talk to mr. blah-blah...
me: oh, i'm sorry, he's not available at the moment.
agent sofia: can i get his mobile number?
me: why should i give you?
agent sofia: because i need to talk to him.
me: that's why, you need to tell me: why should i give you? are you the King?

* * *

to another agent looking for the Marketing Manager?

agent: can i talk to mr. yadda, the marketing manager?
me: no.
agent: is this the marketing manager?
me: no.
agent: (now snickering) is this the marketing department?
me: no.
agent: oh, my God!
me: sorry, I'm not God (sabay baba)

* * *

to coordinator 1 (the office' regular customers bringing their checks for signature)

coordinator1: good morning.
me: what is good in the morning?

* * *

coordinator1: how are you?
me: i was fine. (pause) until you came.

knowing

2009-09-01T18:21:00.000+03:00

Sagot kay Noy
Part IV, Last Part

Siguro dara ini kan haloy ko na pakiki giyera sa sadiri. On rare instances that I "let the devil care tomorrow" grabe guilt ko, and apprehensions.
In a way its good. It keeps me grounded. And at peace.
~ Noy

guilt? we are guilty because we consider something as wrong. but why should we? what is wrong with loving? with caring for somebody? do you think our feelings are destructive? it shouldn't be so.

i can safely now say that i have transcended that already. for me, it came from knowing. knowing where your limitations are. knowing what people expect of you. knowing that whatever you may have done in the past is, and always will be, a part of whatever you are now.

and since hindi naman siguro tayo nakakulong, may AIDS or nasa mental hospital ngayon, it is always good.

enjoy life, noy, as it comes. as it comes.

don't pine for things you cannot have nor regret the things you have done. accept the things you cannot personally change but do not lose any opportunity to join with forces that can.

best of all, hope. hope that tomorrow will always be better.

cue in Lea Salonga's Tomorrow. now, sway to the left, one foot front...

your friend,
red

o hayan, Noy, iyo na ini su haluyon mo nang pighahalat. tatapuson ko na man su Ram series. halat-halaton mo sana. cheers!

Translation: here it is Noy, this is what you've been waiting for. i will also finish the Ram series soon, you just wait.

trip

2009-08-30T18:13:00.000+03:00

sagot kay Noy
Part 3

masarap sa loob ng aparador! basketball kayo kunwari tapos sasalatin mo yung harap nya habang dumedepensa ka. akbayan mo si flatmate, tapos lalanghapin mo yung kakaibang bango nya. lalasingin mo sya, tapos gagapangin mo sya! bwahahahaha!

tapos igagapos mo sya sa silya saka mo huhubaran at pagsasawaan, joke! iba na palang 'wento yan.

ang mga lalaki kasi nuknukan ng kalibugan. kunwari, aayaw-ayaw sa bading pero pag nahawakan, tumetelag pa rin.

ewan ko, kanya-kanya lang talagang trip 'yan. sabi nga, tulad ng gaano karami ang kulay ng rainbow, ganoon din kadami ang sexual variety ng LGBT.

para sa akin mas masarap pa rin na lalaking-lalaki (sa hitsura, sa kilos, sa pananalita) ang ka-sex pero kayang gawin kung anuman ang pwede kong gawin sa kanya. kung hindi ka rin lang isusubo, para que pa. maige pang bumili na lang ng ice cream sa Gelato at dila-dilaan ito (crunchy pa ang dulo). kaya si jeje, kung hindi sya matututo, malamang, iiwan ko din (but its another story).

at the same time, ayoko namang iwan ang pangarap na maging arkitekto ng susunod kong salinlahi. yun ang ultimate power trip, di ba? bubuhayin at ibibigay mo ang pangalan mo sa babaeng hindi mo naman kaanu-ano. bubuo ka ng sarili mong pamilya. tapos titiyakin mong sunud-sunuran sya sa 'yo (joke na itong last part sentence).

ang problema lang, ayoko namang masaktan ang babae. ayokong-ayoko kasi na nakakasakit ako ng damdamin ng iba. kaya nga bukod kay jeje at bebe, andyan pa si bhebhe (ang waiter na tinulungan kong makapag-abroad at regular ko pa ring ka-text), si bibi (ang taga-Cebu na never ko pa na-meet pero laging kong tinutulungan sa pambayad sa dorm), at si love (ang parausan lang sana na naging totohanan).

sabi ko nga, i've become such a chauvinist bastard so dont emulate me because i'm now at my wit's end.

determinationed

2009-08-29T10:24:00.000+03:00

for those who don't remember Ho Chi Minh, he is the leader of the revolutionary Vietnamese Army who brought down the Americans in Indochina during the 70s.

pero ano nga ba ang "Diwang Ho Chi Minh" at ano ang konek nito sa "Single Forever"?

during one of our subject/courses way, way back, the instructor mentioned that Ho died "unmarried". some reacted with raised eyebrows, tipong 'ows talaga?' with matching gaydar scan... lol

seriously now, the entire point in the discussion was that Ho was so determined to win their war that he literally and figuratively "forgot himself."

because of that, nagkaroon ng sistehan (tuksuhan) na ang mga taong "tila" ayaw nang mag-asawa ay may "diwang Ho Chi Minh." in short, "Single Forever!"

exag talaga pero, sa panahon ngayon na napakahirap ng buhay, sabi nga ng isang contestant sa Eat Bulaga noong nakaraang linggo: "bakit ka magpapakain ng hindi mo kaanu-ano?"

i remember, during the interview portion for admission in one org in Diliman, one of the final question was: "Ano ang isang bagay na kaya mong panindigan hanggang mamatay ka?"

well, may tama kayo: ang sagot ko, "hinding-hindi ako mag-aasawa!"

of course, wanting NOT to marry has another dimension to it ~ one colored in bright pink with matching silver lining. but then again...

nagbabalik

2009-08-27T20:11:00.000+03:00

guess kung sino ang muling nagpaparamdam sa aking Facebook? si ram!

double

2009-08-25T16:05:00.002+03:00

single or unmarried. why not double?

bebe (otherwise known as GF) is asking why the status in my FB profile is still "Single".

oo nga naman. in my friendster profile, i have already bannered "Married" (see photo) with her profile as the only Featured Friend. frankly, i have not been checking my FB profile lately, but the request bugged me for some time.

bakit nga ba pag babae ang karelasyon, kailangan pang gawin ang mga ganyan-ganyan? sa dinami-dami ng nakarelasyon kong lalaki, wala namang nag-demand na ganun. well, may nakarelasyon din naman akong babae pero either wala pa kasing Friendster at Facebook noon or wala silang access sa internet. but judging from Guenio (whose GF is my bebe's sister) and some other friends, i think this is the norm nowadays. for what, I dont know...

i guess, i could never really understand women.

but, why should I change my civil status in FB? or why should i scream "I'm already taken" in just about every opportunity there is anyway?

sa inis ko, binura ko ang aking civil status at nag-post nito:

maya-maya, nag-text si bebe, nagtatampo daw sya.

relative

2009-08-23T10:02:00.000+03:00

Sagot kay Noy
Part 2

"happiness is relative..."
~ Noy

true. happiness is a relative of cleanliness at Godliness.

paano ka naman sasaya sa pagiging "bakla"? unang-una, hindi ko talaga matanggap na magbibihis-babae ako (although na-try ko din na magsuot-suot ng damit pambabae nung kabataan ko).

yung tingin ko na ultimate achievement ng kabadingan, na kailangan matira ka sa pwet: ang sakit-sakit kaya! kung ako nga e nasaktan (one day akong parang lechon na tinuhog ng kawayan), ayoko naman ipa-feel yun sa iba! hindi ako masokista.

tapos, masyado akong proud. hindi ko matanggap na luluhod ako sa harap ng lalaki. ano sila Diyos!

pero ang pinakamasakit yung akala mo naiintindihan ka ng mga kasama mo kasi "mulat" sila, mga "kadre" sila, blah-blah-blah!

tapos, mahawakan mo lang sa balikat 'yung kasamang lalaki, isyu na. maiwan kayong nag-uusap sa isang burol habang nagta-taliba, isyu na. proven nga pala nila dito na mas masahol pang tsismoso ang mga lalaki kaysa babae.

minsan, habang papatulog na kami ng ka-buddy ko na lalaki, nagkabiruan kami tungkol sa isang totally unrelated na bagay. out of the blue, sinabihan nya ako na hawakan yung bumabakats nyang etits sa ibabaw ng short nya.

sabi nya, "tingnan mo ang laki ko o."

tumawa din ako, sabay hawak. "oo nga, malaki" (come to think of it, hindi naman sya kalakihan, siguro one inch above normal lang. chos!).

aba, the next week, sinampahan ako ng kaso: sexual harassment.

and kumbaga, the rest is history na ang ending andito ako sa destierro/disyerto.

kaya nagbalik ako sa aparador (closet). mas masaya kaya dito!

upos

2009-08-19T22:05:00.000+03:00

sa bawat mong pag-alis:

pupulutin ko. iipunin
bawat sandaling nalaglag
tulad ng mga upos
sigarilyo sa sahig.

ika'y usok muling
sumanib sa hangin
ako’y bakas
sa sulok itinapon.

~ nilikha sa nueva ecija, disyembre 1997

Photo by Lauren Girardin, here.

kilig

2009-08-18T12:32:00.000+03:00

me kapalitan ako ng message sa FB kahapon. we were talking about one guy who's bugging him about me daw.

"Hahaha! Well, ur one hot guy kasi. Can you blame these guys who fall for you? :) Bigote mo pa lang, kakilig na. Haha!"

sabi nga ni jeje: "hindi siguro."

wala lang, nai-post ko lang. frankly, kinilig naman ako.

backbehind

2009-08-17T16:38:00.000+03:00

sagot kay Noy
Part 1

sulat ko ito kay Noy, isang fan ng blog na "na-antig" (na-arouse) ng aking Ram series, atbp. hindi ko lang kung ilang episodes aabutin ito, pero sabi ko nga sa isang sulat ko sa kanya, iba-blog ko na lang ang sagot ko, kaya heto: tatawagin ko itong Noy Chronicles.

Dearest Noy,

noong bata ako, lagi akong tinatawag na 'bakla' behind my back. hindi ko naman alam kung bakit.

dahil kaya sa pagsasalita ko? normal naman 'yun sa tingin ko, dahil ganun talaga kaming magsalita sa lugar na pinanggalingan ko (sa Bikol): malambing na parang Ilonggo; marespeto na parang laging iiyak.

dahil kaya mas maalam pa akong maglaba o magluto kaysa mag-basketball? wala akong magagawa kasi dahil bilang panganay, ako ang nagiging tagasalo ng mga gawaing bahay na iniiwan ng nanay para makapagtrabaho sya. kulang kasi ang kinikita ng tatay.

dahil ba hindi ako marunong sumuntok? tinuruan kasi ako ng magulang ko na huwag makipag-away.

dahil kaya mas magaling ako sa English kaysa sa Math; sa composition kaysa Industrial Arts?

noong kabataan ko, lagi kong naririnig na tinatawag akong 'bakla' sa likod ko. naisip kong baka nga bakla ako, kaya ginawa ko naman kung ano ang inaakala kong ginagawa ng mga bakla.

pero hindi ako naging masaya.

in photo is eric, from my friendster profile here.

timeout

2009-08-13T10:24:00.000+03:00

with the bebe and jeje issues coming to fore these last few days, i've decided not to dwell on it muna. mahirap mamangka sa dalawang ilog, and sooner or later, i'll have to face the inevitable: choosing between the two of them. so, i wont be blogging about my lovelife muna.

some good news to cap the week.

1. Biggest pitcher plant discovered in the Philippines

The newly discovered giant pitcher plant (Nepenthes attenboroughii), named after Brit nature broadcaster David Attenborough, was found in Mount Victoria in Narra, Palawan. It definitely wouldn't serve you bottomless iced tea, and not only that: its also carnivorous. Ewwww! But the announcement of new plant species being discovered (and rediscovered) in our country makes me feel elated.

Honestly, I was waiting for the announcement that the plant is so big, it could swallow Gloring to end our miseries, but sorry na lang aketch.

2. Rare crocs released.

There was another very promising news for nature Philippines about endangered Philippine crocodiles (Crocodylus mindorensis) being released in the wild, also from BBC News. According to the report, there were only about 100 of them left in the wild, making them the rarest in their family.

The nature group that spearheaded its captive breeding program decided it best to release about 50 juveniles in far away Divilacan, Isabela lest they be decimated as soon as they leave their cages. You see, the Crocodylus mindorensis are being edged out by another cousin, Crocodylus trapoensis, otherwise known as "trapos" that litter Congress, the Cities and Town Halls, and even Malacanang. Yeheyyy!

3. Reunion

my PLU groupie has decided for a reunion this weekend. so that's something to look forward to. the last time we were complete was a year ago (see below).

Artxina, ang maarteng tsinito/a promised to bring along a prospective new member. Lance' dayoff is on Thursdays and its Jeff's last weekend in Sodi, so it would also be a send-off of sorts. hopefully, Dr. Dre and jowa would be there to compensate for the loss of Dyesabella who's alreayd in Pinas.

o sya, happy weekend.

Pitcher Plant Photos by Stewart McPherson.

scale

2009-08-12T10:01:00.000+03:00

a few blog posts ago, PGGC asked me this question as a comment to my final say on the email password issue with Bebe:
Are you in love with her? :D

PGGC's question got me stumped for a few lingering moments. and i have to answer with a few more questions that i have to search through my soul to answer myself. given also that my relationship with Jeje is currently at the crossroads...

do i love her? yes.

am i in-love with her. yes...

do i love her enough to think about marrying her? yes.

is that a definite yes, or a "maybe-yes"? realistically speaking, a "maybe-yes" because its too early to tell.

do i love her more than Jeje? ... NO! unfortunately yes, i love Jeje more.

wtf...

pag-amin

2009-08-11T13:42:00.000+03:00

post ni Jeje sa isang online cruising site.

paano ko ba ito sasagutin? paano ko ba mababawasan ang sakit na dinulot ng nagawa ko?

sabi ni Artxina, ang bestfriend kong PLU dito, ang laki daw ng aking pagkakamali: dapat daw, walang aminan.

pero sa tindi ng pagmamahal ko kay jeje, hindi ko magawang itago 'yung kalokohan ko.

inaamin kong natukso ako. tao lang ako: tinitigasan, nag-iinit, naaapektuhan... kaya nga five-letter word ang 'puson' na syang nuknukan ng kalibugan, para mailayo ito sa kahulugan ng 'puso.'

nagpapalitan pa rin kami ng text, sumasagot pa rin sya sa tawag ko... pero wala na ang lambing. nang tinext ko sya how i missed him, heto ang sagot nya:

"Hahahaha! Really? U missed me. Nahhhh... di siguro."

natatakot akong sa susunod, sasabihin nyang tigilan na namin ito. natatakot talaga akong mawala sya sa buhay ko...

si Jeje, nung hui kaming magkita sa airport lounge (NAIA), 26 May 2009.

stress-reliever

2009-08-10T10:51:00.000+03:00

stressed out. that's what i've been lately.

at the office, it seems i am always trying to catch up with the paperworks, and apparently i am never even able to be up-to-date. and with two separate community groups i am handling, this gets even worse.

since last week, my regular bed time has been 1 am. and if ever i sleep at all, its always been messy, mababaw... tulog-manok, so to speak. to make matters worse, my dormant eczema seemingly got newfound strength and is already blistering its way to my talampakan and my patience.

i've been wanting to get a massage for the longest time, but never had because my trusted friends-cum-masahista are both gone-Pinas. jeje recommended a friend, someone i also know from the internet, but declined because i have arranged to get the services of Deo, another of his friend.

well, Deo is a hunk. not comparable to Jeje, of course... but you know how a story like this would end up.

so lets just say i've thoroughly enjoyed it (the massage and the one after) that i slept soundly for the next eight hours. until...

"its happen(ed) already and nothig can change that. nagtiwala ako sa 'yo ng buong buhay ko. di ko alam if i get mad or cry or even shout dito sa office. sinira mo ang tiwala ko sa 'yo. dont blame me if i hate you. it hurt(s), pero wala na ako magawa, nangyari na Je. i just wish na nag enjoy ka kagabi. again masakit, pero andyan na yan."

Photo from friendster profile here.

stranger

2009-08-09T10:58:00.000+03:00

because of the email password issue, i have to admit na nawalan ako ng gana.

i am trying hard to keep my emotions reined at this point, partly because i want to make the relationship with Bebe work. i guess the bottomline in the email password issue is "trust" and that "need for proof."

does she trust me enough not to check what's on my email? do i trust her enough to give her access to the things i do? i think, the answer to both of these questions is a resounding 'NO'.

i also resent that 'jologs' notion of giving her my email password as proof of my love for her. Guenio's GF asked for the same. sila (my GF and Guenio's) din ang nagsabi na their friends' boyfriends did it. maybe its a girl thing, or a babaeng jologs thing!

maybe, just maybe... i've been so into homosexual relationships lately that i'm already a stranger in a straight one.

yellow

2009-08-04T10:06:00.000+03:00

iconic should be the best term to describe Cory. she was a pro-democracy icon that gave inspiration to the people in their hope to end the Marcos dictatorship. that hope gave the world a template for future struggles for democracy ~ People Power.

she was almost a nobody, just a lending hand to her husband Ninoy, but was swept to power by that "mass" hope against a formidable establishment. who would have thought it could happen?

and as "Citizen Cory" ~ she graciously stepped down after her term and serve as an inspiration for the people to speak out for the truth and against corrupt practices perpetrated by those in government.

best of all, she made the most bland color ~ yellow, a political dimension.

as the world bids Cory goodbye, OFWs here in Saudi and UAE are calling for a yellow Wednesday (tomorrow). try ko maki-join. sana kayo din.

Cory Aquino photo from PinoyWired.com.

trust

2009-08-02T10:40:00.000+03:00

i'm in a middle of a shitty war. not with jeje (of course, never naman kaming nag-away), but with bebe.

its only on SMS lang siempre (since she's in Pinas) and its all about (tada!):

the password to my email account.

of course i rejected the idea because, for one, my email opens access to very confidential items ~ like the Moderator Panel of certain yahoogroups, the webmaster panel of site/s I did (dalawa lang naman yun), some privileged office information... never mind my bank account (na wala namang laman). in short, it may compromise other organizations she doesn't have anything to do with. even spouses should know what is confidential, right?

second, i think its a rather childish, petty, "jologs'" way to measure my "love" for her. i even told her, "insecure lang ang taong humihingi ng password sa email ng karelasyon..." which she denied, of course.

actually, i was beginning to hate her older sister for giving her the idea. coincidentally, her sis is my housemate and officemate Guenio's new flame. i even went with him to Olongapo just so Guenio can meet the sister (where i met Bebe, coincidentally). is it just plain coincidence then that they asked for the same thing on the same morning?

and third, its too early for her to demand something so sensitive such as an email account which contains virtually everything. hey, we're just on our 16th day, not 16th month, not even a year.

actually, the bottomline about all this brouhaha, is whether anybody should have the full rights to his/her spouse privacy. i don't believe so. even married couples should each have their identities to themselves and not tie themselves to their spouses.

but then again maybe its a woman thing. maybe its a 'babaeng jologs' thing. or an 'insecure na babaeng jologs' thing. grrrrrrrrrrr!

kayo, would you give your passwords to your partner, even if you truly love him/her?

you can find Guenio's photo here.
galing ang email account photos dito.

disguised

2009-07-29T11:13:00.000+03:00

hindi ko pa rin nasasabi kay jeje ang tungkol kay bebs (ang aking GF). ewan ko ba, na-o-awkward ako.

last year, napasok na din ako sa relasyong straight. and yes, alam din naman ni jeje 'yun at naintindihan naman nya.

tumagal ng 23 days yung relasyon namin ni 'honey'. angpotah, ginawa lang pala akong panakip-butas para sa boyfriend na umuwi sa Pinas na akala ay hindi na babalik.

nasaktan din ako siempre. after that, nag-declare ako ng pagiging 'single forever'.

but then came bebs.

ewan ko ba, siguro, naghahanap lang ako ng endless attention.

or perhaps, ng sakit ng ulo.

ng kumplikasyon?

or maybe because, isa talaga akong chauvinist pig in pink disguise.

ang plush pink pig ay galing sa "pennyscollectibles" dito.

nunal

2009-07-27T10:08:00.000+03:00

SONA nga pala ngayon. Ini-expect ng lahat na ide-deklara ito bilang unang araw din ng Constitutional Assembly o Con-Ass. Kung Devil's Advocate ako, sasabihin kong hindi matutuloy 'yan sa tindi at dami ng nagpo-protesta.

Pero knowing Manang Gloring, I'm sure, tutuloy pa rin sya mereseng kabi-kabila ang protesta. Haller, nasasalat ko ang nunal nya hanggang dito, o. Eewwwww...

At dahil SONA ngayon, expected na din ang kababalaghang milagro sa ekonomiya, sa pagkakaroon ng trabaho, sa pagsolusyon sa kagutuman, at kung anu-ano pang senyales daw na maaabot natin ang lebel ng First World neshyen sa 2020. echoserang Gloring! daig pa ang mga bading sa pagdo-drowing ng iksrip.

i'm sure, bayani na namang ituturing ang mga tulad naming OFWs laluna sa Middle East, ang numero unong destinasyon ng mga nangingibang bansa.

hala, sige nga:

sabihin kaya nyang nire-rape ang mga babaeng nagti-tyagang maging domestic helper dito sa Saudi; at hindi nya tinutulungan na makapagsampa ng kaso laban sa mga nang-aabuso?
aminin kaya nyang sya mismo ang nagpabagsak sa sahod ng unskilled labor dito nang iutos nyang mabilis na aprubahan ang mga job order?
tanggapin kaya nyang sya ang nagtulak upang maabuso ang kulang dalawang libong manggagawa nang ipa-apruba ang mga job order sa mga abusadong employer na nang-iipit ng sahod, nagpapa-overtime na walang bayad, hindi nagbibigay ng food allowance, at ikinukulong na parang preso ang mga manggagawa?

Mahaba pa ang litanya ng reklamo ng OFWs dito... pero, isa pang nakakabahala ay ito:

ang balitang tatlong OFWs ang binitay sa Jubail. Ang masakit, hindi inaamin ng otoridad dito na mayroon ngang binitay (kahit alam ito ng lahat ng manggagawa dun sa lugar). Ipinipilit din ng Embahada ng Pilipinas na walang binitay o nakahanay na Pinoy sa bitay dun sa lugar na iyon.

Sana nga ay hindi totoong Pinoy ang pinugutan ng ulo noong nakaraang Byernes. Dahil kung totoo ito, isa itong bombang sasabog na naman sa makapal na nunal ni Gloring.

ang larawan ni Nora Aunor mula sa pelikulang "Himala" ay galing dito.
ang original ng digitally tweaked (para magkasya sa blog) na Pic-Link Journal entry tungkol sa mga binitay ay galing dito.

gone vegan

2009-07-22T13:21:00.000+03:00

am not vegetarian and do not intend to be so. although kumakain din naman ako ng petsay (hindi puro karne lang), if you know what i mean.

am not out either, despite this blog and everything i've told just about anybody about. and of course, inspite of jeje.

but seriously, i still have hopes of settling down... having kids, and yes, marrying somebody (i hope) who knows my sexuality, and hopes to understand me and love me, despite that.

so now, i'm making a confession. hindi pa ito alam ni jeje but he will know soon for sure.

may girlfriend na ako. sinagot nya ako sa text.

ambilis... and one thing struck my mind: women, despite their facade of maturity, are so gullible.

and i'm one fucking, lying bastard!

galing ang pic dito.

used c

2009-07-20T11:46:00.000+03:00

sa ikatlong pagkakataon, may taong lumapit sa lamesa ko para tingnan ang kung ano, tapos aalis na parang kiliting-kiliti.

sa unang dalawang pagkakataon, hindi ko talaga nage-getz yung tinitingnan nila sa lamesa ko na source ng kanilang kaligayahan nang ganun-ganun na lang na para bang lalabasan sila any moment.

kanina, lumapit yung kasamahan kong katutubo at kinuha ito:

hirit nya: "i thought it was used condom..."

sabay kaming napatawa.
kanino at saan ko naman gagamitin ang condom sa lugar na ito? at sa opisina pa.

actually, ang object ng kanilang wild imaginings ay ito.

apologies

2009-07-19T09:37:00.000+03:00

i just got another blogpost published unfinished. my apologies.

red's alert: taeyang

2009-07-17T12:56:00.000+03:00

been self-censoring myself lately (wanting to post certain things only to chicken out later) kaya heto: wala akong ma-post so I'd go with the usual flow of pink-blogs muna. hehehehe.

red's hunk alert
Taeyang

been surfing around for K-Pop lately (no, thanks to Sandara Park and their catchy 2NE1 songs) until I came across this hottie from Korean boyband, Big Bang.

i know he's just another RnB clone: he sounds (moves, and projects...) like Usher, Chris Brown, or Omarion (without the scandal, i hope); and, looks like Kris Lawrence with the cap on.

his biz name sounds quite funny to us Pinoys (he's Young Bae name sounds better) until I read that "taeyang" means "sun."

needless to say, the guy's hot. so enjoy the vid and drool:

pagselosan kaya ni jeje ang taenang'yan? don't think so... confidence daw sya.

you may want to download his CD here.
Taeyang photos from his friendster profile here

panic

2009-07-12T16:28:00.000+03:00

i'm groggy from lack of sleep. even now, i still could not believe it.
an e-library of bestsellers, including complete sets of Harry Potter, Bourne, Tolkien;
a library of political, philosophical and military books, literary masterpieces...
poetry collections
collection of "naruto" manga from chapter 1 downloaded for over two years
up-to-date "atland" comics by nate piekos
full series of "heroes" from season 1
complete season 1 episodes of "fringe" given by a friend
all sorts of files i have kept all these years in an external hard drive, apparently lost.
scanned copies of all certificates, including school diploma, employment certificates
poems and short stories written as early as 1991 only a chosen few has ever seen or read
own pictures collected for more than ten years including some taken exactly 28 years ago
the list is excruciatingly long. and these are only the things i remember. how could i have possibly lost it?
files of all various organizations from 2003
photos and videos of family, loved ones and past relationships
a matrix of internet/email accounts complete with passwords
a copy of a very incriminating video made five years ago where you appeared in
and then, the list gets juicier:
some uncut "Indie" movies
nude photos and "XXX" videos collected since 2001
jeje's nude photos
just imagine the implications if some enterprising hack gets a hand on this.

aaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrgggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhh!

should i start killing myself now?

panic button from joystick101.org

orocan moment

2009-07-02T10:45:00.000+03:00

Michael Jackson. Farrah Fawcett. Trade unionist Wilson Baldonaza. "Voice of a protest generation Susan Fernandez."

ibat-ibang kamatayan ang bumulaga sa lolo ninyo nitong nakaraang araw na parang haller, ako na yata ang susunod.

kanina, ala-una ng madaling araw, nakatanggap ako ng text: 'patay na ang asawa ni Ka Pat'. makiramay daw kami. pinatay ko ang celfone at natulog ulit.

hindi ko naman kakilala 'yung asawa pero siempre, bilang kasama ni Ka Pat, awtomatik dapat ang sinserong pagpapaabot ng "condolences." in short, magpadala ng mensahe ng pakikiramay, maglikom ng abuloy, etc. wala namang problema dun. at ginawa ko naman ito, the moment na nagkaroon ako ng chance na mag-email.

kanina lang, nakatanggap ako ng tawag mula sa isang nakasave sa celfone ko as "txtmate." nagdalawang-isip ako na tanggapin ang call, hindi dahil dyahe makipag-phonepal kung nasa opisina, pero hindi ko talaga matandaan kung sino ito.

pero nabosesan ko naman sya kaagad: isa syang dalaga naandito malapit sa akin na inireto sa akin noon ni Ka Pat. matapos ang formalities (kumustahan, etc), tinanong ako tungkol kay KaPat.

sabi pa ni 'txtmate' na habang nagkukwento daw ito na patay na asawa nya: "para namang masaya pa sya."

* * *

nagpost pa din ako ng pakikiramay sa grupo: isang maiksing-maiksing mensahe nga lang na parang Twitter update.

tuloy, naisip kong magandang magtayo ng tindahan ng plasticware. dahil i'm sure, madami akong pwedeng-pwedeng i-display dun.

galing ang plastic wares sa http://www.germes-online.com/direct/dbimage/50127924/Plastic_Dishes.jpg

realizations

2009-06-30T16:32:00.000+03:00

i thought i've had enough of SEBs (jerjeran) and i am few things more mature now with these realizations...

1. massage and sex is best enjoyed separately. for some, sex after massage may the best therapy for a tired body.

but parttime masseurs i became close friends with told me "not to book a masseur, if you only needed 'sex'". kasi daw either the massage or the sex part would suffer. papagudin mo sya sa kamamasahe, so hindi na sya mag-eenjoy sa sex part. kung mauna naman ang sex, pagod na sya before ka imasahe, ikaw naman ang hindi mag-eenjoy.

2. hindi lahat ng nagsasabing "masarap ka," gusto kang maka-sex. need i say more?

3. it is not rude to refuse. you dont have to go to bed with just about anybody you meet or anyone who asks, so why force yourself just for the heck of it? or, nahihiya ka.

if you don't like what you've seen, heard or felt, ask the guy to join you in praying the rosary instead (no kidding!). or if you're in HK, ask him to go with you to Volume.

4. things you should not forget: an extra underwear, lube, condom, toothbrush, and extra money hidden inside your shoes. the first three are common must-haves. but i hate kissing men who reeks of pizza or dinner, so i'd politely ask him "if he wanted to brush his teeth" (now you know why i always have a stock of them in my desk, jejejeje).

also, i remember meeting one who asked me for pamasahe and i ended up having to call my mom so we'd both have enough money going home.

worse is when you'd meet a thief who'd run away with your belongings (fortunately, this never happened to me, yet). worst if ma-Chito Sequerra (SLN) ka. yaikks!

5. you dont have to say "i love you" on the first date. naman. i really hate people who do this, the same way i dislike people who'd message you on friendster and chat then think you are already lovers after a few exchanges.

6. you're not supposed to wipe your face after makipaglaplapan (torrid kissing). "its impolite," sabi daw ni emo kay echo (kwento lang naman ni echo sa akin).

somebody told me this before and i could not disagree with emo more. but then again, i hate it when i'm dripping saliva so i wipe it very, very discreetly on the bedsheet.

7. "milk" is always meant to be swallowed. sayang naman kung itatapon. 'chos.

8. not all you do for him would be reciprocated. it is always better to ask him if he gives head first, so you won't expect that he'd reciprocate. if he doesn't, its better not to give your 100% best performance so he'd not ask you out again.

9. receiving is way, way better than giving head. get real. giving being better than receiving only works at Values subject in school, or in religious yadda.

10. just because he says 'i love you' while doing it, does not mean you have to say 'i love you too' in return. especially if you know in your heart, its all bull. cmon, be honest and tell him that its all for sex (libog lang!). you'd hurt him more by leading him on.

pagud pud

2009-06-28T17:15:00.000+03:00

the most memorable part of my recent vacation was Pagudpud.

we only reached Saud beach which is nearer to town than the Blue Lagoon (which I heard is better).

just the same, its still enjoyable. the beach is never crowded and the general mood is rustic and laidback, with plenty of nearby areas for sightseeing and photoshoots (the Bangui windmills, the Cape Bojeador lighthouse, the various waterfalls).

the windmills of adjacent Bangui Wind Farm, where Ilocos Norte gets 40% of its electricity.

the Cape Bojeador lighthouse; presumably one of the oldest in the country.

and there is no nightlife! so as the sun sets, you can just sit back, drink your beer and doze yourself to heaven, especially after travelling that far (more than 12 hours from Manila).

with this guy around (jejejeje), you'd surely enjoy sightseeing.

the only drawback (aside from the getting there blues) is: you won't find any food or refreshments after the restaurants close at 8PM! so if you go there, make sure to stack up on beer, snacks, and food.

finally, pagudpud is best enjoyed for a few lazy days. but if you go there just to stay for a day and a night (tulad ng ginawa namin), good luck na lang.

pagud lang pud! as in...

PS. if you wish to visit, please get in touch with Ronald. an able guide, he can take you to the cheapest but not less comfy accomodations. the town has imposed a flat rate of PhP 600 on guided tours courtesy of the tricycle drivers. in any case, here's his photo and phone number ~ 09216769525.

smooth

2009-06-27T10:21:00.000+03:00

i'm beginning to think echo is smoother than meets the eye, and emo a sentimental bastard (hindi pa talaga sya natuto. see mush).

emo: BTW, pls pray for me, ine-evaluate na ko ng boss ko. Sna pumasa! Love u."

echo: Im sure papasa k lov. Ur dedicated,hard worker kya. Talo cla pag pinakawalan k p.

emo: Akala mo lng yun Love. Feeling ko daming kokontra kapag na-regular ako. Me mga secret txters nga boss ko e, winawarningan sya against me.

backgrounder: emo was hired as personnel manager in an industrial manufacturing company north of Manila. at the height of the Hayden-Katrina scandal, he suspended three employees ~ including the gerl he caught distributing, and two more viewing the video, inside their office.

echo: me intriga factor? Hehehehe. I love u always Lov, kht matanggal k jan,i'll support u nman. Ok lov? Be still, God will provide

emo: sweet naman tlaga ng asawa ko! Wagi tlaga ko sa iyo! Tnx 4 being supportive, wil do my best 2 serve & love you forever.

hayyyyyyyy!

disappointed

2009-06-25T10:25:00.000+03:00

here's the continuation of that post about my disappointment with jeje.

i still love jeje. no doubt about that.

but if you're following this blog, i've announced here that we were supposed to meet at least two days before he leaves again for the Kingdom. we were supposed to go to Baguio, meet my family, then i will send him off.

the meeting-my-family part was already cancelled even before he left for vacation so it was understandable. but him not seeing me during the most opportune time was... was... disappointing, to say the very least.

as if naman kasi napakadali na makipagkita sa kanya~ what with issues like schedules, expenses, etc... since both of us were already in Pinas, you'd think its easier for us to meet, but no.

he says he has to finish the house renovation he already started for his mom. he says his mom demands him to stay with her at all times. so he decides he would not want to leave his mom and would spend all his vacation days with her. he decided.

fine! forget our much needed bonding moments. forget we only see each other every twelve months. gusto kong sabihin: "forget mo na lang din kaya na me asawa ka."

he decided. unilaterally. i can only understand. e taena, nanay na kaya yun. ano naman laban ko dun?
Postcript...

but as I always says, i still love him. kaya heto ako, nag-iipon na naman ng ipapamasahe nya, makapunta lang sya dito at makasama sya ng ilang oras. balik sa dating gawi.

bangad

2009-06-23T10:08:00.000+03:00

excuse na lang po becoz trying hard sa pagiging 'beckie' ang lolo nyo. excuse na rin sa mga Inglesero dahil medyo delicades (read: delikado) ito para sa aking job security. 'chos. pero seriously, hindi na talaga pwedeng i-silent treatment itu:

hindi ko keri ang balita tungkol sa 72 kababayang na Julie Vega dito sa Kaharian dahil daw sa gay behavior (mababasa ninyo dito, dito, at dito pa.

hindi naman bago ang ganitong mga balita. noong nakaraang taon, isang grupo din ng mga kabayan na dumalo sa isang party ang nahuli at idinugtong sa gawaing kabadingan (basahin dito).

pinalaya din naman kaagad ang 69 out of 72 na hinuli, kaya't Assumption Convent na at least tatlo ang sigurado ng lolo nyo na kinasuhan ng 'homosexuality.' ayon sa report ng mga Betty Bendicion dito, private party daw iyon to celebrate Philippine Independence Day na ang main feature ay 'gay beauty pageant'.

pero naman. bakit ba kailangan ng mga kafatid na mag-beauty pageant to celebrate Independence Day? anong relevance? hindi naman independent ang Pilipinas, at alam naman nilang walang kalayaan ang federacion dito.

seconds, kailangan pa ba natin na i-prove ang beauty nating mga beckies? we are "byutipol," sabi nga ng lola Marian nyo na may halong pagtataray. we do not need to prove it to anybody, everybody, somebody and nobody.

thirds, hindi ba sila nashoshokot sa parusa kapag naJulie Andrews? bukod sa pagkakajulong, awtomatikong 60 lashes ang parusa sa mga mapapatunayang becky sa lugar nito. pasintabi sa mga tunay na beckies, matuk nyo kaya yun?

well, i will leave it your imagination kung paano nila patutunayan na tunay kang veykla. i'm sure, merong magwa-water sa mga bottom dyan, pero haller, reality check! iba ang sex, sa rape.

a very recent example si RC, isang pamintang mukhang maton na nahuli sa isang party. damay lang sya sa hulihan, dahil alak ang main reason sa naganap na raid. pero kinasuhan sya ng homosexuality dahil sa (1) nakitang mga SMS para sa isang pangalang lalaki na tinatawag nyang 'honey'; at, (2) topless nyang picture sa celfone. and yes, binigyan na sya ng 60 lashes at more than three months na syang overdue (February pa sya dapat napalaya). keri nyo ba 'yun?

sa totoo lang, imagine nyo lang na ikulong kayo ng isang oras sa Pinoy public toilet na once-a-week lang nililinis, kasama ng isandaang mababantot na kambing, ewan ko lang kung makeri nyo. no wonder, nalulurkey na si RC (at ang close fwend nyang Belgian, na 'honey' ang nickname).

fourths, given na dito ang gawain ng mga Angelina Jolies na pagtortyur sa mga Julie Vega. bukod pa yun sa lashes, ha? kung itortyur kayo palagay ko lang, kahit pagtsugi kay Flor Contemplacion, aaminin nyo. again, keri ba ng mga beckies yun?

well o sya, Zsa Zsa Padilla, cge na... masokista na ang mga beckies kung masokista kasi wa effect ang visions of torture and incarceration. bangad na kung bangad (Iluko-term na one helluva level higher than matigas-ang-ulo) ang mga beckies dito kasi inuuna ang kachorvahan kesa sarili nilang welfare.

pero naman, kailangan pa bang i-tutor tayo ng isang Noli Boy de Castro? haller... sino ba sya to teach beckies na mag-follow sa rules? ano ang konek? heto ang chorva nung June 20 ni VP na Presidential Adviser on overseas Filipino workers din:

“I just want to reiterate to our OFWs [overseas Filipino workers] to observe the laws and rules of the country where they work so as not to get into trouble... (xxx),” the Vice President said.

actually, unified ang chorva ni VP, ng Philippine Embassy sa Riyadh at ng Department of Foreign Affairs: "blaming the victim" ang mantra. whether bading, lalaki o hiwa ang biktima, ganun naman lagi. yung babaeng na-rape ng among lalaki sa Qatif at napuwersang pumirma ng waiver sa harap ng pulis at amo, sabihin ba namang nag-retract ng statement. yung mga babaeng nagpapa-rescue sa Jubail kasi araw-araw hini-hipuan ng among lalaki, sabihin ba namang "gumawa lang ng kwento kasi homesick" (but this is for another post).

pero teka, sa same news article, chinorva din na: "Open display of homosexual behavior is strictly prohibited under Saudi Arabian laws." so private party nga 'yun e. private, meaning wala namang ibang nakakakita: sila-sila lang.

hindi man lang ba papalag ang ating representatives sa pangre-raid na ginawa ng Angelina Jolies? so tutal, mga bading naman 'yun, ok lang? wa na lang say-a-word!

isa pa, bakit ang "bading" connection agad ang slant ng press release ng Embahada.

ime-media kaya ng Embahada kung mga lalaking may asawa sa Pilipinas na kasama ang kani-kanilang mga asawa dito sa Kaharian ang mga hinuli? I'm sure hindi. vahkeet? e lalaki sila e. haller. "normal" lang sa mga lalaki 'yun. "normal" sa mga lalaki ang mambabae, mag-bigamy kahit labag ito sa culturalaloo at batas ng Pilipinas. "normal" tulad ng mga lalaking nagcho-chorva na sumunod ang mga badingger na OFWs sa umiiral na culturalaloo ng host countries.

hay, kalurkey. sana lang, hindi na nagsalita si VP. sa totoo lang, lumalabas ang ka-macho-han nya. hindi yung macho na pwedeng gawing papa, huh? yung machong parang baboy (with a capital P), the chauvinist pig!

ganyan din ang ginawa nila kay Venancio Ladion (aka Jenifer Bedoya), ang OFW na napugutan sya ng ulo noong October 2008. ipana-gang rape lang naman sya ng jowa nyang lokal dahil gusto na nyang makipag-break. sa struggle, napatay nya ang lokal.

Venancio Ladion (aka Jenifer Bedoya), pinugutan noong Oct 2008 sa Jeddah, Saudi Arabia.

sa same radio program ni VP, na ginagawa yata nilang propaganda machine ng kanilang kaek-ekan, nilait-lait ng mga itu ang pagkatao ni Ladion/Bedoya by extrapolating on his supposed homosexual exploits. imagine, i-chorva ng mga menchung ito na pinugutan daw ni Ladion/Bedoya ng ulo si junjun nung lokal kaya hayun, pinugutan din sya ng ulo sa itaas later.

tuloy, sa sobrang kahihiyan ng pamilya ni Ladion/Bedoya, hindi na nakuhang magpa-interview ulit. pamamaalam nga ng tiyuhin ni Ladion/Bedoya before sila nag-sign off sa ere at mag "I-rest-my-case": "dalawang beses pinatay ang pamangkin ko: pinugutan ng ulo, at pinatay ang pagkatao."

o sya, Zsa Zsa Zaturnah, oo na. we are still in a man's world. pero kung hindi naman magsisimulang tumindig at magsalita ang sangkachorvahan, kailan pa?

bakit hindi natin simulan by banning VP Noli sa ating balota next season: "bawal ang bangad na sobinista sa balota!"

simple lang 'yan. i'm sure, kayang-kaya ito ng mga beckies kesa magpa-panalo ng LGBT candidate sa partylist. 'chos.

ang icons ay galing sa isang blog na banned dito kaya please buksan nyo na lang wherever you are.
ang pektyur ni Jenifer Bedoya ay galing dito.

disappointments

2009-06-21T14:19:00.000+03:00

still some rants i should have posted during my vacation in Pinas last may. this time, about some disappointments.

1. airline promos

the air-con bus to the city nearest our home is worth at least 700 pesos so imagine our enthusiasm when we read of the P288 airfare from Manila to Legazpi on a half-page length-wise ad in Philippine Star that morning of May 5!

my mom was definitely enthralled she wanted the seven of us on that plane on the way home. well, she never get to know that the fucking 288 pesos was ONLY the discount on your ticket when you check-in with less-than 15 kilos of baggage. yes, it was only a discount and the ticket still cost me at least PhP 1,700 each.

so sue me. you can check their adverts and nowhere can you find that its just a discount on the airfare.

my bad for believing airline ads!

2. jeje.

i still love jeje. no doubt about that.

(more to cum...)